Untold Desires
by iHeart1202
Summary: After a horrible accident leaves Damon in a coma, Elena is forced to face many challenges alone. When Damon awakens, Elena is horrified to discover he doesn't remember her. Can Elena help him rediscover their untold desires? Sequel to Forbidden Desires, a DELENA story. Rated M for mature content/themes (LEMONS in later chapters) no copyright infringement intended!
1. Darkness

"I let it fall, my heart and as it fell you rose to claim it. It was dark and I was over, until you kissed my lips and you saved me…but there's a side to you, that I never knew, never knew…. I set fire to the rain." ~Adele, Set Fire To The Rain

 _ **Ch. 1**_

"No! Damon! Baby, please wake up!" Elena yelled, falling to her feet as sobs racked her chest. The rain fell down harder, as she struggled to cling to Damon's bloody broken body on the Wickery Bridge.

"Oh my God, no!" shouted a voice emerging from the car that had smashed into the stone railing opposite of where she stood. She knew somewhere inside that Damon had to be alright, but at the moment her consciousness could only register one thing. Damon was bleeding, and unconscious, and he didn't appear to be responding. Her emotions swerved from despair to irrational anger.

"Damon! Oh God…" came the voice from above her. Her stomach dropped lower in her body as she registered the person responsible. Someone she'd trusted. Someone she'd once loved, but even more devastating, someone who was a lot closer to the situation than she could imagine. It was Damon's half brother, Stefan McGuire.

Daring to look up into the eyes of the man who possibly took his brothers life, she blinked at him through the blinding headlights of his mangled car, and the cool rain as it came down in sheets around her.

"How could you?" she growled, her heart distraught with grief.

"Elena I didn't…I couldn't…I'm calling for help!" he announced rushing to his car to retrieve his cell phone.

Elena continued holding her broken man in her arms. His breathing had slowly returned, causing a sense of relief within her. Yet his eyes, their cool crystal blue, remained closed. She didn't know if he could hear her, but she kept saying his beautiful name over and over in his ear.

"Damon…Damon…come back to me." She said, breathing a silent prayer up above that he would return to her once again.

Moments later Elena heard the sound of sirens behind her, all the while clinging to her love and choosing to ignore the pain welling inside of her. Pain that had begun to set in from her lower abdomen, and chose to ignore the feeling of blood running down her legs.

* * *

"Could you please state your name and relationship to the patient?"

"My name is Elena Gilbert, I'm…I'm…." Elena grappled with the right words to describe her connection to Damon Salvatore. He was so much more than her boyfriend. He was the love of her life, and if he never woke up neither would she.

"Ma'am you need to let us at least take a look at you. You seem to be bleeding and we are doing everything we can to save him, but we need to help you." The first responder reassured her. She was a young lady. Elena guessed she was in her early twenties. She had long brown hair and had kind honey colored eyes. Her badge stated that she was with Mystic Falls General, and her name was Rose.

"Come on honey," she said, lifting Elena to her feet.

They'd somehow made it off the road and back to the hospital moments before. Elena had refused to leave Damon's side and had ridden in the ambulance with him. She'd refused treatment; wanting the EMT's to make sure he was breathing. That he was still there with her. Although they had assured her many times that he was stabilized she couldn't ignore the gnawing feeling inside of her that kept telling her he wasn't alright.

"Elena, we have to make sure you're alright. Please lay down."

Looking at the empty white bed in front of her she slowly sat down. Her wet evening gown was soaking through the cotton beneath her and she found she could barely feel it. Her body must have been shaking but she couldn't feel. She didn't feel anything.

"Lay down for me honey. Tell me what hurts." Rose told her, encouraging her to speak to her.

Elena's voice died in her throat. Everything hurt; her heart, her body, and her soul. She couldn't distinguish the source of the pain. She was in shock. Everything had happened so fast. One moment she was happy, and in love, her heart so full that she could barely breathe. The next she was screaming. Sobbing and praying that he would be ok. She couldn't be in a world without him because there was no life without him.

Slowly obliging, Elena laid down on the hard mattress. Rose, wasting no time lifted her skirts and found the source of the bleed.

"Elena, listen to me. This is very important. Are you pregnant?"

Elena's attention was finally caught for the first time all evening.

"Yes, I am." She said her heart rate escalating as she remembered the doctor's advice to be careful during this first trimester. She knew the pregnancy had already suffered a traumatic beginning. Surviving another one might not be possible.

"Elena, I don't want to alarm you, but your body has been under severe stress. Its possible you could be miscarrying the fetus."

"What?!" Elena asked, her voice breaking. This couldn't be happening, not now.

"We're going to run a few tests to know for sure, but for now please try to calm down. It could possibly save the pregnancy. Some women experience this type of reaction during post-traumatic stress. So just relax, and try to stay positive. I would also like you to change out of your dress. We need to get your temperature back to normal as fast as possible. You're going to be ok, Elena. You're in good hands." Rose said, standing up and handing her a hospital gown to change into. Elena's shaking hands grasped the fragile fabric but her arms seemed frozen at her sides, unwilling to move.

"Here, I'll help you." Rose said, coming to stand beside her.

Rose looked at her with sympathy and understanding. She helped Elena stand up and quickly unzipped her dress. As Elena felt the fabric fall away from her body she pushed away thoughts of other hands doing the same. Of her body wishing the person doing this was not really lying in the hospital bed somewhere possibly taking his last breath.

* * *

"Damn it how did this happen?" Stefan said, pacing the Emergency Room with vigor. His hands tangling in his hair as he replayed the last hour or so through his head. He'd only looked down for a split second it seemed to answer a call.

Everything in his body regretted wanting to take that call. The one he might possibly regret for the rest of his life.

It was his fault. All his fault. He was the reason Damon was fighting for every breath he breathed, and for the first time in his life he found himself experiencing new emotions: Repentance, slowly followed by despair and grief. He had to be alright. He just had to be. Even though he'd spent so many days trying to derail his happiness he'd never wanted this. He'd never wanted to kill his brother.

"Lord, please save him. Just give him one more chance." Was all he said, as he sunk into the chair behind him. Waiting once more for an absolution that might never come.

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep. That was the only sound Elena heard as her heartbeat pounded within her ears.

She did her best to breathe as Rose and Dr. Fell performed a sonogram on her abdomen. Looking at the monitor in front of her, she silently hoped with all her might for the sound of another heartbeat.

"There it is." Rose said, her voice full of relief.

"What? What is it?" Elena asked anxiously, her mind jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

"Ms. Gilbert, you are still with child. It seems your placenta has shed some of its lining but its nothing to concern yourself with. As long as we monitor your bleeding and make sure you get plenty of rest you and baby should be just fine."  
"Oh thank God!" Elena exclaimed, a smile breaking her face for the first time in hours. "What about Damon? I need to see Damon now. I need to tell him." She explained.

"So he's the father?" rose asked again, intrigue lining her words.

"yes, please, I need to see him."  
"He's still in surgery but I'll let you know the second he gets out. We will keep you informed of his condition as much as possible but for now you need to try to rest." Dr. Fell said, her voice firm and serious.

Elena recognized the tone; it was the same one her mother would have used on her.

"I understand, but I need to know he's alright. I can't do this without him." Elena said simply as her heart constricted in her chest and tears sprung to her eyes.

"We know sweetie. Let us check on him, and we'll let you know."

"Thank you."

* * *

Darkness….

That was all he saw. Voices, and hushed tones surrounded him. Music of the night filtered behind his eyelids and he forgot for a moment where he was.

Until the pain sank in, a blinding pain from his body that radiated from his chest, and his head. It was practically unbearable.

"Ok, he's back. Let's work fast people." He heard a harsh voice state as he continued to feel the burning sensation in his chest, and then darkness consumed him once more.

Time passed. To Damon it could have been hours, weeks or days. He honestly didn't know. The only thing he knew was the feeling within his hands when her skin touched his. Her hands were intertwined within his own and he could hear her softly crying. He could feel her tears hitting the skin of his arm as she said his name over and over. He wanted to reach out; to touch her and let her know he was still here, but his body wouldn't listen to him.

"Damon, please come back to me." She said, her voice breaking with her tears.

 _I will…_ was all he could silently promise her… _I will Elena, I promise._

 ** _******AUTHORS NOTE*********_**

 ** _Well there you have it, chapter one of the sequel to Forbidden Desires. If you hadn't had a chance to read it please do so now! Thank you again to all my wonderful readers! Be good and review!_**


	2. Can't Live Without You

******DISCLAIMER***** MATURE CONTENT/THEMES AHEAD (young readers, please read at your own risk.)**

" _Round and around and around and around we go. Oh now, tell me now, tell me now you know. Not really sure how to feel about it something in the way you move makes me feel like I cant live without you. It takes me all the way. I want you to stay."_

 _~Stay, Rihanna_

 _ **Ch.2**_

 _Two months later…_

Blinding pain stabbed Elena as she sat up from her vivid dream. Damon had been next to her. Touching her. Filling her, and she'd never wanted the dream to end until it had taken an unexpected turn. Thrusting inside of her he'd taken her to the peak of pleasure, her toes curling inward as he breathed her in. His hands digging into her flesh brining her closer as she rode astride him until his hands grasped her too tightly. Her climax stilled, wanting to stop him, but his hands kept holding her tighter and tighter. She'd protested as he continued driving into her. Unable to stand the pain she'd moaned, telling him to stop, only to wake up from the dream, the pain still blinding inside of her.

She grasped her lower abdomen and could barely stand the pain. Sitting up in her bed she'd moved to lift her soft white covers only to discover the horrific truth in front of her. Crimson red stained her sheets as she realized she was sitting in a pool of her own blood.

The pain still pulsated from inside of her as a sudden urge to use the restroom came over her. Fighting back the tears welling up inside of her eyes she pushed her way into the bathroom. Sitting on the porcelain bowl she released everything inside of her. Taking a long breath in she felt something slip from inside of her. Something tiny and formed, and she knew. She knew this little life she'd carried and held inside of her for so long, for him and for her, would never be.

Sobs racked her chest as she held herself close, rocking back and forth. These past months had been torture. She'd lost so much, and now this. She couldn't even contain her misery.

Feeling weaker by the minute, Elena did her best to clean herself up and push herself off from the red stained bowl. Clinging to every surface on her way she reached for her phone and found it charging on the nightstand beside her bed. Not wanting to face the mess that resided there, she sank to the floor. Her tears slowly drying on her face, and her emotions becoming numb, she dialed the only person she could think of to help her get to the hospital.

He picked up on the first ring.

"Elena? What's the matter? Is it Damon?"

"No." she breathed out.

"I need your help. I'm bleeding…I need to get to the hospital. Please come." She said weakly her heartbeat slowing in her ears.

"I'll be right there just hold on Elena." Stefan said as she hung up the phone. Elena smirked at the irony.

Stefan was now the one coming to her aid.

She could barely wrap her mind around the man he'd transformed into practically overnight. Since the accident he'd been doting and dependable. At first she had recoiled from his advances not wanting to trust him. After all it had been his fault that Damon was laying in the hospital to begin with. She'd blamed him and still did, but it only took her a day or so to realize that he blamed himself even more for the damage he'd caused. On several occasions she'd seen caught him visiting Damon, his eyes moist from tears he'd shed. Still she knew she'd taken a risk calling him. Loosing this baby wasn't his primary concern, but it had been hers for many weeks, and she didn't feel like she could call Bonnie or Caroline. In fact since the accident she'd had a hard time keeping others close. In many ways she'd shut everyone out. She knew they'd try to reach out to her, but it didn't matter. Nothing much mattered anymore.

After the accident Dr. Fell had advised her to be on bed rest anyway due to the delicacy of the pregnancy. So she'd done her best to cradle the life growing inside of her. Because Damon wasn't here, she'd wanted to keep a part of him with her in any way she could.

Yet because of it she'd lost time seeing Damon, and it had been torture.

Holding his hand the first week of his coma had been agony. She'd sit beside him and lean her cheek on his arm, waiting and hoping for him to open his eyes. The doctors had told him his lungs had collapsed during the accident. This had caused him to become hypoxic and in result had placed him into a coma. Since then he'd been placed on a ventilator that was breathing for him. She'd been told he might never wake up from the horrendous nightmare. Two weeks had passed and they were discussing taking him off the ventilator. She'd fought with the doctors telling them that he would wake up from this. Damon would fight and we would come back to her. Unfortunately since she wasn't his wife or a living relative it was not her choice to make.

Stefan had been called in, and she'd finally gotten to meet Damon's father, the infamous Mr. Giuseppe Salvatore. He'd been callous and reserved just as Damon had described him. A towering man with greying hair, with an intimidating presence that still caused Elena to get goosebumps. He was the one in charge of calling the shots on his only son's existence. Although she didn't have any reason to believe he would want to harm his son, something inside her screamed out that she had to do something. She'd done her best to reason with him, and by some miracle he'd allowed his son to be kept on the machines for two more weeks.

Now that they were nearing the end of the final days, she had become more and more apprehensive and stressed. She was sure this distress is what had caused her to lose the pregnancy. Carrying this child without him was just too difficult to fathom. She needed him, and he needed her. Feeling her body drain of power she sunk against the bed behind her. She was ready for death to come, ready for the pain and misery to be over. She let the phone in her hands drop the floor as she drew in one more breath and let the darkness overtake her.

* * *

"Elena? Elena can you hear me?" Stefan's voice pleaded as her head lulled to the side.

"Elena, we're at the hospital, you're going to be ok. Just hold on. Hold on." He said, as she felt a kiss press against her forehead and a weightless feeling of being wheeled away. Harsh florescent lighting and the strong scent of bleach crashed against her senses. She felt the hard cold bed beneath her, and then a mouthpiece crashing over her face.

"Just breathe in," the nurse advised, and she did. She would breathe, even if Damon couldn't she would find a way to hold on. She couldn't leave him, she just couldn't, but her body was so weak.

* * *

The next morning Elena awoke to the sound of her heartbeat beeping from a monitor beside her. An IV was in her arm, and she noted that it was finally morning. Harsh sunlight streamed through the room illuminating the white washed walls. Across the room sat Stefan, still sleeping in a chair at the foot of her bed. A slow smile crept across her face that he'd cared enough to be here for her. That was until harsh realty sunk in and she realized why she was here.

"Stefan?" she asked, her voice dry. She needed water.

Hearing her voice Stefan stirred, looking up into her eyes.

"Oh thank God. I thought id lost you there for a moment." He said, standing and coming to sit on her bed.

"What happened?"

Stefan's face looked downcast. She knew he'd never been a fan of her being pregnant. Something about carrying his brother's kid had been hard for him to handle but he'd still been there for her.

"I'm so sorry Elena." He said simply.

"I lost the baby didn't I?" she asked, already knowing the response as sadness swept across his features. Tears welled up in her eyes as she let them wash down her face.

"Shh, Elena. I'll go get the doctor. I'm sure you'll want to hear this from her."

Standing up once more Stefan left the room and came back moments later with Dr. Fell in tow. Her expression was wary, and Elena was attempting to prepare herself for her words.

"Elena, these things are never easy to cope with. I know how attached to this pregnancy you were, and I'm sorry you lost it. It appears you had been harboring two pregnancies. This fact is very rare, but in your case the bleeding was coming from another ectopic pregnancy in your right fallopian tube. Once it burst it triggered a reaction and caused your body to expel both fetuses. We had to rush you into surgery, and I'm sorry we did all we could but we couldn't save the tube or the babies."  
"What does that mean? Does that mean I'm done? I'll never have children?" she asked, her voice breaking and fear gripping her heart.

"No, it just means that conceiving from now on is going to be difficult. I'm sure you're going to need some time." She said as Elena began to sob uncontrollably. Stefan rushed to her side, holding her up as she burrowed her head in his chest. Sensing that Elena needed some time Dr. Fell added,

"I'll be around if you have any more questions." She said with a small smile, and nodded towards Stefan as she left the room indicating that he needed to follow her. Leaving Elena's side he followed her out into the hallway, and when he came back he had a look of disbelief across his face.

"What Stefan? What is it?" Elena asked eagerly. If it was about her she needed to know.

"Its Damon. He's responding." Was all he said, and hope came crashing back into her life once more.

"I need to see him." She said, her voice low.

Stefan stayed standing, not moving and gaping at her as if she'd suddenly sprung two heads.

"I need to see Damon. Now Stefan!" she said, practically screaming as he said, "Ok, I'll go get you a wheelchair."

"Nope, no good, I'm walking." She said after he'd left the room. Getting up from her bed was harder than she'd thought and her body shook from weakness. Her heart had broken in so many ways today, but she was not going to miss seeing her Damon.

Gaining strength from within Elena walked from her bed to the doorway and peered outside of it. She knew Stefan was gone but if another nurse had seen her she wouldn't advise her going either and she had to make sure the coast was clear. Pulling the IV stand along beside her as leverage she made her way down the hall. She was so very grateful in this moment for small hospitals like Mystic Falls General. She couldn't imagine walking any farther as she neared Damon's room. Walking through the open door she was surprised to discover the breathing machine disconnected.

He was breathing on his own! She could see his chest rising and falling and tears of joy sprung to her eyes. Stepping towards him she sunk into the chair beside his bedside. Her hand shaking as she reached for his hand.

"Damon, baby, come on open your eyes." She implored.

Touching his skin, she could feel his warmth radiating from his hand to hers.

"Elena?" A low voice came from behind her.

Elena turned her head around to see Giuseppe in the doorway.

"What are you doing here child? You shouldn't be here."

"With all do respect sir," she said defiantly, "I have as much right to be here as you do." Her eyes shot the old man a look of fury as she defended her spot beside the love of her life. She was not leaving, not now. Not when he could wake up at any moment.

Then as if on cue she heard Damon take in a deep breath from behind her. She turned just in time to see his crystal blue orbs flutter open.

"Damon." She said, her heart swelling with joy and relief that he was finally awake.

"Katherine?" he asked in disbelief, as hope lined his features.

Elena was confused, why would he think she was Katherine? Katherine wouldn't be at his bedside. She was too busy raising her own son to give a damn about Damon lying in a hospital bed. In fact she hadn't been by in weeks.

"No," Elena stated caressing his forehead with her nimble fingers. His smooth skin warm under hers was so reassuring. "I'm Elena. Do you remember me Damon?" she asked, fear beginning to grip her heart.

"I'm sorry…" he said his voice tapering off as he gazed at her face, confused as she realized the horrifying truth.

Damon Salvatore was awake. He was alive, but he didn't remember _her._

 ** _*****AUTHORS NOTE*************_**

 ** _Well well that was an intense chapter to write. I got the idea for this lovely drama filled sequel from the lovely writers of TVD. I know that Elena was the one in the show who lost her memories, but it always intrigued me to know what would happen if Damon couldn't remember Elena? Would she fight for him as he'd fought for her? Would she try to get him to remember all of their shared moments together? In a way I want to show their love story develop through her eyes, and for him to see her in a new light and vise versa. Damon is going to have many skeletons in his closet come out that Elena doest know about but Katherine will. So it just adds to the intrigue. I sure hope you enjoy the read, and that you aren't too pissed at me for the miscarriage. It seemed like the only way I could really grasp Elena's despair. She's giving up, and she needs the love of her life. I know its very heartbreaking and dramatic but at times a writer has to be. Look forward to reading your reviews!_**

 ** _love you all! iHeart1202_**


	3. Gravity

_******Updated Chapter. I was recently approached by a concerned reader about some facts to Damon's amnesia and I realized that I needed to tweak a few things. Don't worry its still a wonderful story except now it hopefully makes better sense. Happy Reading!**_

"Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch. Keep me, without chains. I never wanted anything so much. Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain." ~Gravity, Sara Bareilles

 _ **Ch. 3**_

"I'm sorry," he'd said, his words drifting off as he looked at her. Awe crossed across his face as he took in her similar features.

Elena did the best she could to keep herself from falling apart. Damon didn't remember her, but he remembered Katherine. Her mind reeled as she heard two new voices entering into the room behind her. Giuseppe must have gone to get the doctor.

"Welcome back." Stated the doctor, a young woman by the looks of it. She had long brown hair and fair features. Elena thought she was beautiful, but her presence alone was intimidating.

"I'm Dr. Jo Laughlin, and I've been assigned to your case." She said approaching Damon's bedside and taking out a miniature flashlight from her pocket. Leaning down she routinely checked his eyes asked gently. "Can you tell me what you remember about the accident Damon?"

"Accident? What accident? What happened?" Damon asked in confusion, sitting up to better see what was going on.

"Shh its ok," the doctor said, ensuring him that everything would be alright, "its normal to have gaps of memory. Damon you were in a terrible car accident. Can you tell me anything about it?"

"No, I'm sorry. Honestly doc I don't even really know how I got here."

"That's ok. Can you tell me who anyone in the room is?" she asked gesturing around. It was only then that Elena looked behind her to see Giuseppe and Stefan standing by the doorway. Their faces were unreadable but she could only imagine what was going on through their minds.

"Yes, mostly." Damon said, his tone strained as he looked at Elena once more.

"That old geezer over there is my dad, and that's my half brother Stefan."

"Is that you're whole family?" the doctor asked as she glanced at Elena.

"Yeah, as far as I know. My mother passed away a couple years ago." He added. Elena could tell from the sorrow in his voice that the wound still hurt.

"So what do you remember?" Stefan asked, uncertainty crossing his face.

"I don't know. I remember wanting to leave New York, but I don't really know why. How long ago was that?" he asked urgently.

"Damon, I know this has come as a shock but the accident you were involved in collapsed your right lung. You've been in a coma ever since." Jo replied.

"How long?" Damon asked, his breathing quickening as he began to realize what had happened.

"Two months. Although it seems to be that your memory has reset itself back to another time when you were transitioning." Turning to look at Stefan she asked him, "Would you say that was the most recent life change he's had in awhile?"

Stefan glanced at Elena. They both knew what should have been his more recent life-changing event, but he went along with what he knew. Damon obviously didn't recognize Elena, and this could in fact play to his advantage.

"Yup, I would say that pretty much sums up his life."

"Wait a sec Stef, what year is it?"

"2015, Relax you still know that right?

"So you're telling me I don't remember 6 months of my life?" Damon asked in disbelief, and turned to face Elena.

Not knowing what to do or say Elena had simply been sitting quietly, and taking in what was happening before her. She hadn't expected Damon to turn on her then and ask, "So what am I to you? Who am I to you?"

Elena could barely push down the tears that threatened to erupt from her eyes in that moment. She simply said, "Someone who loves you very much."

Then she stood up, and scooted her IV stand along with her. Moving aside, the boys in the doorway allowed her to exit. Stefan in particular, understood she must be overcome with grief, especially after last night. He also knew this news had to of upset her so he decided to follow her calling after her, "Elena!"

At first she ignored him. She simply wanted to get back into her bed and never have to deal with this again. It wasn't until he was standing right in front of her that she stopped to look up at him.

"Elena, you don't need to do this." He said, his breathing coming out in small puffs in front of her.

"Do what? She countered as anger filled her voice. "I just found out the man I love doesn't remember who I am. All he knows is that I look like my twin sister. I don't even want to know what that means. All I know is you need to leave."

Stefan, finally realizing that she wasn't going to see reason stepped to the side and let her go.

Elena felt empty. Even more so than when she'd arrived and her side ached from standing so long. Reaching the bed in her room she collapsed in exhaustion, deciding she would leave another day. Right now she needed to sleep and she needed to mourn. Her heart was broken from loosing the love of her life, and for losing his babies without him even realizing it.

"Who was she?" Damon asked in earnest as the doctor continued to take his vitals for the day.

"Seems she loves you." Giuseppe said, as he came forward to stand next to his son's bed.

"Yeah well…I guess I'll sort that out later. What are you doing here? I thought after mom's funeral you were going on a bender never to be heard from again? Weren't you still shaking up with that partner of yours? Ms. Smith?" Damon said with a crooked grin.

"Not that its any of your business but we parted ways a long time ago. Truth be told in many ways I was on a bender." Giuseppe said, bending to sit in the chair Elena had just vacated. "But I'm still a successful attorney. I make good money arguing my point so that others don't have to."

"Yeah, that sounds like old boring you." Damon spat. His father did always like the feeling of power. It was damn depressing and insufferable.

"So doc, how's my boy going to be? Will he remember anything anytime soon?" he asked playfully a gimmick that Damon knew well. He always did this when he was attempting to seem less aggressive than he was. He hated it.

"Well Damon you should make a full recovery. The amnesia is simply a product of your accident. You may experience selective amnesia, gaps of memory leading up to the coma. Which is perfectly normal. Once your body has healed itself all the way you should be able to remember your missing time. Many patients of mine have undergone the same trauma and they end up just fine."

"Well that's a relief." Damon said sarcastically. "Except I have no idea what I've been doing for the past 6 months of my life."

"I know its difficult but you seem to have a good family support system. They can help you get back to life as normally as possible. Just remember, baby steps first. You don't need to feel like you have to remember everything all at once." She said, staring down Giuseppe and hoping her would take her advice.

"Sure thing Dr. Laughlin. He's in good hands." His father added, sticking his hand out and shaking hers.

Afterwards the doctor smiled and exited the room, as Damon fell back against the mattress. His head hurt from trying to understand so much at once, and he was exhausted. The only thing he could think of before he closed his eyes again were two brown ones looking right back at him. He knew those eyes, and her words continued to replay themselves inside his mind as he fell asleep, "Someone who loves you very much."

Those words were comforting, and bewildering all at once. Because he knew she looked like Katherine, but Kat would never say that to him yet he couldn't help himself longing for her to try.

"Elena?" Dr. Fell asked as she gently roused Elena from her dream state.

"I'm sorry to wake you. Its Dr. Fell I have some things I need to discuss with you about your pregnancy."

Elena's eyes fluttered open as she attempted to sit up from the bed she resided in.

"Yes?" she asked, her body sore and her eyes stinging from all the tears she'd cried.

"Well it seems that we have a predicament." Dr. Fell said coming to sit on Elena's bedside. "I'm going to need to do one more sonogram of your uterus. It appears from your post op examination that you might still be…" her voice drifted off as Elena's heart fluttered with hope.

"I might still be pregnant?" she asked earnestly.

"Now I don't know for sure, but the films here indicate you might still be." She said standing up and turning on the x-ray light so that Elena could see the films for herself.

"But I thought I miscarried both?" she asked in confusion.

"Well in normal circumstances the uterus does tend to do that. However, in your case you might still have maintained keeping the pregnancy."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Elena asked, her heartbeat thumping louder in her ears.

"Well, you have a decision. Normally mothers who are given falsified information have the ability to sue the doctors for malpractice. However if you choose to abort the baby, we could also compensate you for your troubles."

"No. If I'm pregnant I want to keep this baby." Elena said strongly. There was no way in hell she would ever consider money instead of her own child. The thought automatically repulsed her.

"Ok then I will go get the equipment and we'll see what we have." She said standing up and exiting the room. Elena couldn't believe it. Perhaps dreams really could come true.

Moments later she realized they had when she heard a faint heartbeat thumping from the sonogram machine.

"Do you see that Elena? That's your baby." Dr. Fell said, attempting to point out the peanut shaped membrane inside her body.

"I'm so relieved…but I'm just so…confused. How could this have happened? I mean I felt something last night…" she said remembering something pass through her. She'd thought for sure that was it.

"Well you most likely were feeling the tube, and the other fetus leaving your body. You're very lucky Elena. Most pregnancies aren't as strong as this one. This little one must really want to be your Mommy." She added, a glint of humor in her eyes, and Elena felt relief, and sadness fill her all at once. She'd done it. She'd kept her little peanut alive after all, but she'd also lost another. Her heart was so full, that she found herself crying at the confusion. She was so sick of crying. It seemed her life was like a never-ending funeral.

"Would you like to tell the father the good news?" Meredith asked. Elena knew she couldn't have known the circumstances, but the idea of telling Damon now that he was still going to be a father wasn't exactly on her to do list. She needed him to remember her first.

"Oh I will, in time." She said, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"I understand. Well, I do need to keep you overnight for observation, but after that you are free to go. Just take it easy Elena. You are getting closer to your second trimester so we'll see if you still need bed rest, but you need to make sure, if you want this pregnancy, to not get too over excited."

"So…sex is off the table I assume?" Elena asked sarcastically. It wasn't like Damon would want to jump her bones anytime soon. Especially if he thought she was Katherine.

"No, its not, but I would still be…more tender than usual." Meredith said with a wink. Elena turned bright red as the doctor stood up and wiped the jelly from her lower stomach.

"If you need anything else you can always call me." She assured her, and with a nod she left the room.

After sleeping for several hours Elena was suddenly awakened from her restful slumber. She'd sensed someone was there, but with the lights turned off her hospital room seemed vacant.

"Hello?" she croaked, trying to sound braver than she was.

"Don't be afraid." A deep voice in the shadows said softly. She knew she recognized the melodic sound and instantly calmed. It was Damon.

"Damon." She breathed out relieved, "You shouldn't scare me like that."

Coming out of the shadows he stood in front of her. His dark hair was landing in front of his eyes, and he'd changed out of his obscene hospital gown. It was instead replaced with a black shirt, a leather jacket and some black jeans. She didn't recognize this look on him, but his appearance still gripped her. She could practically sense the sexual tension in the air as he approached her.

"Remind me of your name again?" he cooed, his chiseled features illuminated in the moonlight. Elena could barely believe that he still didn't know her, but she decided to help him out. After all, if she wanted him to remember her, and who she was, she had to start somewhere.

"I'm Elena."

"Why do you look so much like Katherine Pierce?" he asked hotly, aggression lining his voice.

"I'm her twin sister. I'm Elena Gilbert. We were separated at birth. Adopted by two different families. Its all very Star Wars." She said, laughing it off, but Damon's expression stayed cool and calculating.

"Then you must know where she is."

"Yeah, I think she's staying at the Lockwood mansion for now." She said, not wanting to give him too many details on why she would be there. It was probably better that he found out about her baby another time.

Damon chuckled to himself, and sat on the foot of her bed. "Yeah, that sounds like Kat. Always looking for the wealthiest sons of bitches to get her claws into. Is that a family trait?" he countered.

She knew he couldn't have known. Didn't know whom he was talking to, but still the vulgarity of his questioning had thrown her. This was not her Damon.

"You don't remember this, but I'm nothing like her at all." She said defensively.

"So, you aren't blackmailing me to be with you by having my baby?" he asked bluntly. Her mind swirled. She hadn't even told him she was still pregnant. How did he even know?

"How do you even know I am?"

"I might have read your chart, and Stefan filled me in on some of the blanks I had. I know you're in here for a reason Elena. So is that it? I'm just some pawn in your twisted game to get back at your sister?"

"What? Why on earth would I want to do that?"

"Because you two are related. Its not like I haven't been burned by her before." He stated. She was really starting to get upset now. It wasn't like she'd fallen in love with him to spite her sister.

"You now what, you seem pretty cocky for a man who has no memory of the last six months of his life."

"And you seem pretty naïve to let a man into your bed that's slept with your sister."  
Elena recoiled at those last words. Their love had never been about Katherine, and she was determined to prove that to him.

"You son of a bitch. You think you're so cocky, and have me all figured out but I bet you'll remember this." She said hotly as she lifted herself onto her knees, and in one swift motion grabbed his face in her hands and decidedly kissed him. She was tired of fighting, tired of crying, tired of feeling like there was nothing she could do to cause him to remember her. She selfishly needed this, and if it helped him remember her she was going to follow through with it.

Elena didn't know what she had expected from him, but the instant her mouth landed on his he'd responded. His hands instinctively tangled in her long smooth brown hair. At first it felt as if he was trying to pull her off of him, but then his lips became more compliant, and his hands clutched her to him as a soft guttural moan escaped his throat. The simple touch of his lips on hers drove her crazy. He was here, he was in her arms, and she never wanted to let him go. Her need for him grew as he laid her down on the mattress of her hospital bed. Their bodies coming together and aligning the way they always had. Elena sighed as waves of pleasure engulfed her. If she was the one who started it, Damon was surely the one to finish it. Needless to say it was not her idea to break away from their heated kiss as he lifted his head to look at her. The look of awe and gratification on his face left her breathless.

"Who are you?" he asked, his eyebrows coming close together at the peak of his forehead. She knew he was doing his best to remember her even as his words sliced through her like a knife. She knew what she had to say, know what he needed to hear, even if just for a moment.

"I'm the love of your life, Damon Salvatore."


	4. Broken and Mended

_"You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore." Seether ft. Amy Lee_

 **Ch. 4**

"You son of a bitch" Elena had said as she'd reached for Damon's face surprisingly crashing her lips to his. Damon, who had been expecting a slap, was astonished that she'd chosen to kiss him instead. His mind reeled as he felt her soft hair under his fingertips. His first reaction had been to pull her off of him instantly. He couldn't kiss this girl; he still loved Katherine. At least he thought he loved Katherine.

Katherine had been the only person in his life after his mother's death that had given him anything resembling meaning. She was all he knew, and she'd just broken his heart. And now there was a girl in front of him who looked just like her, trembling with desperate need underneath his hands.

He knew he should do the right thing. He should pull away from her. He should tell her it wasn't right, but his body told him a different story. It was as if it remembered something he couldn't. Something about this woman he held in his arms. She was important, a vital piece of him, and in everyway a mystery. Wanting to know more, to remember more out of sheer urgency, he kissed her back. After all it had been three years. Who knew what Katherine was up to now? He should attempt to move on, and as long as Elena was offering he wasn't going to pull away. Her body became pliant against his as her mouth opened wider allowing him entrance to her warm wet heated tongue. He practically growled with carnal arousal feeling her tongue meet his.

God, this woman could kiss. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had kissed him this way. Out of anger, passion, and a deep sense of longing he barely recognized himself. Wanting to feel her underneath him, he laid her down on the mattress below them. She fit along every curve and contour of his own body. He couldn't believe the resemblance to her and Katherine. How she felt so similar, and yet how different she was.

Where Katherine had been hard and domineering, Elena was soft and warm and highly responsive underneath his hands. The idea that they were sisters was unthinkable. Aside from the fact that they looked so much alike, he could barely believe it. The simplest touch of his hand caressing her side, and Elena had blossomed into a yearning flower for him. She was ready, and he suddenly realized what he was doing.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't lead this girl on. As much as his blood was pooling and ready in certain alarming parts of his anatomy, he had to stop. This wasn't right. He didn't know this girl. Pulling back he breathed in a sigh looking deep into her warm brown eyes. Her breath came out in small puffs in between them, letting him know she wasn't ready to stop. Her eyes implored him to continue, to dare him to remember and feel everything she was giving him. Yet all he felt was an emptiness he couldn't ignore.

"Who are you?" he asked in disbelief. The question had slipped from his mouth as soon as he'd thought it. He was mesmerized.

"I'm the love of your life, Damon Salvatore."

Those words hit him hard, pulling him back to earth. The love of his life? Who had decided this?

He sure hadn't.

Damon couldn't remember who she was let alone that she was the love of his life. Terror and fear gripped his heart as reality sank in. He'd truly done something terrible. Had he taken this girls innocence? Had it been because of Katherine? Or worse was it because of Stefan? Stefan had told him that they'd shared a history. He'd been disgusted and intrigued by the thought, but he still couldn't fathom why he'd gone after her. Did she even know the secrets he'd held in his heart? Questions oozed out of his psyche as he attempted to detangle himself from Elena's embrace.

"No." he said simply pulling away and standing over her. She looked so wanton lying on the hospital bed. Her long brown hair draped around her, and her hospital gown clinging to her in all the right places. God he needed to breathe, or he knew he would do something foolish. She could of been manipulating him with sex. Using him just as Katherine did. He couldn't be sure. Turning he walked to the window that overlooked the parking lot outside. He took in a deep breath, attempting to clear the muddied thoughts swirling around inside his mind.

"I'm sorry." Elena said quietly behind him. He heard the bed shift beneath her weight as she stood to walk towards him.

Coming up he felt the heat of her body against his back. A part of him tensed, while his heart melted and everything south of the border tightened. His body was betraying him, and he didn't even know why. He wanted this girl, but who was she? How could she ever even love him for who he was? That simple thought stopped him. She couldn't of known. She didn't know.

"Don't." he warned, as her hand came up to rest against his left shoulder.

"I don't want to cause you more pain. I didn't mean to confuse you Damon. I'm so happy you're alive. I just wanted to feel normal again, just for a moment." She explained, her voice breaking.

Damon wasn't used to hearing women cry. It was an annoying weakness he'd always had, especially with his mother. He could never stand to see her cry. Turning around slowly he looked at Elena as the moonlight cascaded over her delicate features. She was beautiful.

"I know, but I can't give you normal Elena. I don't even know what normal is to me right now." He said, his voice rigid with bitterness.

"I know." She said simply as her eyes left his to look at the floor. He could see a small blush creeping against her cheeks. Had he done that to her? Was it her own emotions giving her away or had it been his kiss that had heated her olive skin? He would never know.

"So why kiss me? You must want to kill me for the things I said to you just now." he added, sly smirk appearing against his lips. He was attempting to lighten the mood. Things had become so damn depressing.

"Well I did, and I do, but I figured I'd let you off the hook. Besides, I'm sick and tired of everything around me being out of my control. At least I could do that. If you remembered nothing, at least you know that part of us works." She admitted, looking up at him once more.

He was astounded. Here was this small beautiful girl in front of him, telling him she just needed to have him. Her kiss was that simple. It was a shock to his system. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had cared enough to show him kindness, let alone crave him the way she had. He smiled believing her, and wanting to know more about her.

"Apparently it works well enough for you to be pregnant." He added, he was going on a limb he knew. He'd stolen her chart earlier. Curosity had gotten the better of him. She'd given him so little to go on, as had Stefan. His father had also been a no show after he'd been discharged, and he wondered why she'd landed herself in the hospital. Had it been the accident? Was that how she'd come to be here? And then as he'd read the documents his eyes had been gripped to a simple statement: pregnant.

He knew how he would've reacted if this had been Katherine, because Katherine would have tried to find everyway out of it she could. He might have even gone along with it. He was also sure many fights would have ensued, but his mind reminded him they were both older now. The idea of a child now wasn't such a shock; at least it wouldn't have been if he'd never seen how young she still was.

Only 18, going on 19 and having a baby.

God, he didn't envy her. The beginning of a persons life, and she had to be weighed down with all these maternal choices. He'd apparently been the cause for it, although he didn't even have the luxury of remembering how it had been consummated.

Damn, he abruptly wished he could.

Suddenly he noticed an alarming distance in Elena's eyes as a sadness filled them. Tension filled the room, and he saw her sink into the mattress behind her. Sighing she admitted, "I didn't want to tell you this. Not now, you've been through so much. But I know you would want to know, at least the you I know." She mused, smiling lightly. He understood this must be a hard admission. He suddenly felt like he was trespassing on a private moment with himself. As if his alter ego shouldn't be hearing this.

"Elena, you don't have to tell me. We can just wait until my memories come back. You don't owe me anything."

"But I do. I lost a baby Damon." She said in a rush.

His heart suddenly dropped, but not for the reasons it should've. Loosing a loved one was a helpless hopeless feeling, and one he knew too well. The pain of loosing his mother still weighed heavy on his mind. He suddenly felt a deep sense of guilt and regret for causing this pain, and then anger for not knowing how.

"I…" he said, his face constricting with emotion. He didn't know how to respond.

"But, a wonderful thing has happened. I was carrying twins, and one of them decided to stay. Here feel." She said reaching for his hand, and pulling him towards her. Damon didn't know why he was going along with this. His head physically hurt for trying to remember everything at once for so his hand landed on her stomach and he felt a faint heartbeat underneath his fingertips.

"So…you're still…I mean we're still…?"

"We're still having a baby." She said, tears of joy springing to her eyes.

Panic rose in his throat. He couldn't do this. He wasn't cut out to be a father. Hell, he couldn't even talk to his own father. How could he be one?

"I can't do this Elena." He said, pulling away.

He could see the pain in her face instantly, and he turned away not able to face her. It amazed him how her pain had instantly transpired to his, but he didn't know why. None of this made sense.

His life didn't make sense.

"I need to go." He said simply, and then he went to leave. He didn't know what he'd expected her to say. Perhaps she'd stand there and let him off the hook, or maybe she'd actually slap him this time. Her face told him she was thinking about the latter.

"Then do it." She dared. Her eyes determined, and he didn't know what else to do but listen to her. Reaching the door, he turned the handle and gave a quick glance behind him. Elena was still sitting on her mattress facing the window, and he was sure, she was silently beginning to hate him.

 _It's for the best,_ he thought _, I'll never be the man she needs me to be anyway._

* * *

 _This is all your fault,_ Elena thought as she sunk back into the mattress after Damon left the room. She'd known it was too soon and she'd told him anyway. He was a broken shell of a man and here she was weighing him down with all her emotional baggage. She knew it was his too, but still he'd been through enough. He'd just woken up practically a day ago and now he was finding out he was going to be a father. Elena's mind raced back to the night of the accident. She'd been running away from him for this precise reason. She knew being a father had terrified him, so why was she so compelled to tell him now?

Selfishness.

That's all this boiled down to. She just wanted to share in this moment with him. To tell someone she wasn't a failure at making a life.

 _Then next time just pick up the phone and call Caroline_ , she chided herself.

She wished she could call Caroline, or Bonnie. She missed them both so much, but she'd chosen to stay in Mystic Falls while they jetted off to college last week. It had been a heartbreaking decision and goodbye. Caroline had done her best to convince her that being roommates and being together to start a new chapter of their lives was the only way to move on. They had both wanted her to move on, and so had Jeremy. He'd told her to go, telling her he'd look after things with Damon, and that he'd let her know if there was any change as soon as possible. Heck even Alaric had moved into the Gilbert house so that they could pay their rent while she'd been on bed rest, but it wasn't enough. She just hadn't been able to bear the thought of leaving Damon behind. Besides she couldn't start school while trying to carry this baby. Bed rest had been the doctor's orders, and last she'd checked walking to and from class on a college campus was pretty essential to life. So she'd stayed.

She'd told herself she would be fine. He would wake up and they would pick up right where they left off, but fate had not been so kind this time.

Now she was forced to remind Damon about everything, who they were, and where they stood. Good golly this could be a long autumn.

How long would it take him to remember? A desperate haunting question gripped her soul.

 _What if he never remembered her?_

Well, that was a risk she was willing to take.

 ***********AUTHORS NOTE****************

 **Well there it is. I hope you're enjoying the beginning of this wonderful journey between two lovers finding their way back to one another. In the next chapter I'm going to show some of Stefan's point of view, and how Elena really feels about him after the accident. Lets just say those of you that are waiting for a bashing Stefan hour are about to be satisfied. ;)**

 **Keep reading lovelies!**

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 **twitter: iHeart1202**


	5. Trying Not To Love You

"I can't give you what you want, and it's killing me. Maybe we're not meant to be." ~Theory of a Dead Man, Not Meant To Be

 _ **Ch.5**_

"I can't believe you did this." Elena said as she stared at the man in front of her. Normally a man picking her up from the hospital might be construed as chivalrous and thoughtful. Not for Stefan McGuire. He always seemed to have an ulterior motive and Elena was determined to get to the bottom of his before she stepped anywhere near his car.

"What? Can't one of your oldest friends give you a ride home from the hospital?" Stefan asked eyeing her warily. He was already on shaky terms with her, and he knew it. She barely tolerated him at the moment.

"Look Stefan. I appreciate you getting me here and all, but that was it. The only reason I called you in the first place was because I didn't want to bother Jeremy at Tyler's, and I knew Alaric would just freak out. Not to mention Caroline and Bonnie were too far away. So just stop with the nice act ok?" Elena asked, she was determined to stay put in her wheelchair until someone else showed up to get her. She had always hated the idea that every patient had to be "wheeled out." Who made this a mandatory thing anyways?

Deciding she was done waiting, she stood and lifted her purse to her shoulder. She wasn't going to accept rides from men who ran their brothers down with their own cars and got away with it. In fact she was going to tell him as much just as soon as she caught her breath.

"Elena," Stefan breathed coming closer towards her and supporting her as she stood. His body felt foreign to her. She suddenly longed for another body, one that aligned with hers and warmed her heart. She missed Damon so much it had slowly morphed into a physical ache in-between her breasts.

"Stefan, I'll be fine." She said, attempting to swap his arm off of her.

"Elena you need help getting home. Just let me drive you." He said, continuing to push the issue.

"Yeah that's just what I need. Help from the person who drove down my boyfriend and his brother in one fell swoop. You know its all your fault."

"Hey, you know that was an accident Elena. I would never intentionally hurt Damon or anyone I care about. I know I've been a dick, but I still have a soul."

Elena did her best to muffle a laugh as she rolled her eyes and countered,

"Yeah well I'm still deciding on that."

"Fine, well you can decide it on the way home. You know you need a ride, just get in. I'll go twenty the whole way if you want."

Looking down the road once more Elena was disappointed to realize that the blue car she was hoping for did not arrive. Sighing she finally conceded and allowed Stefan to lead her to his car. She got in slowly and wistfully wished that she would be able to see Damon again soon. She suddenly wondered where he was, and where he had gone after their abrupt moment the night before. If she had to guess though she was fairly certain the answer could be summed up into one little word: Katherine.

She only hoped that her alter ego and evil twin would be able to give Damon the answers he was truly seeking and not more deceit like before. Although who was she kidding, this was Katherine after all. This cat never changed its stripes.

Damon rolled over with a groan as his face his the wooden floor of the boarding house with a thud. He'd forgotten where he was, and had miraculously lost his balance on his very own king sized bed. For once he was not please with being back in his own bedroom. Pain emanated from his temple as she rose up on his elbow from the cold hardwood and pressed his right hand over his broken face. Or at least that's how it had felt.

"Wonderful." Damon groaned as he found a tender spot at the top of his skull. That was going to leave a bruise. He'd figured that amount of pressure to his brain had to have triggered or killed something rolling around in his brain, but unfortunately he had nothing. All he remembered was what he knew. He remembered his mothers passing, getting rip roaring drunk and sleeping with a new girl practically every night. That had been until Katherine had shown up and everything else got a little clearer. He'd known why she had left then. She'd been to young, and at the time it had stopped him. Stopped him from going after what he really wanted. Back then it had all been a surreal blur of pleasure and passion. His love for photography had then suddenly morphed into something much darker and pleasurable than he had anticipated. In fact Katherine had been a model for most of his alluring and provocative shots. The set up and scandal had been easy. Getting women to pose for him had been surprisingly effortless, and as he had collected the images, he soon found that he was able to turn a hefty profit. He'd known it might have seemed a little perverse to some, and especially to his father. However, it was a living, and up until recently it had been the way he was paying his bills for his apartment in New York City. Strictly speaking it wasn't like he was shooting porn. It was simply for advertisements and risky lingerie, but to the naked eye it would have seemed like more. Damon smirked as he rose from his tangled bed sheet around his waist and stretched his long lithe body. He didn't remember the previous night very clearly, but one thing was certain he'd gone to bed alone. The thought was lonely and maddening. He couldn't remember the last time he'd let that simple fact happen. He always had someone to wake up to. Whether it was a choice he still liked in the morning was another scenario entirely. Deciding on a morning shower to wash off the pain still throbbing in his head, Damon turned on the hot water and stepped under the generous spray.

Feeling the water hit his face was amazing. He sighed as pressure and pain eased off his sore joints. He felt like he hadn't moved in ages. It was most likely due to the coma, but in many ways he still felt as if he was still asleep. As if his memories weren't the only part of him still frozen in time. Reaching for the bottle of shampoo Damon decided to squeeze a generous amount of liquid into his palm and proceed to later his dark hair. Feeling his hands massaging the soap into his scalp he suddenly imagined another set of hands helping him. Shaking off the image he tried his best to rinse off the suds and continue with the body wash. However, this only had the opposite effect on his lower anatomy. His mind began to piece together flashes of a heated moment in the rain…then suddenly the water wasn't rain. It was still, and cool. Droplets had fallen on Elena's breasts as the sunlight cascaded around her in the quarry. Their bodies alight with desire as he shoved her against a bare tree, pressing every inch of her against him. He could feel his fingers dipping between them, feeling the warmth wetness between her legs.

His length grew harder.

The water of the shower began to cool down as Damon came back to his senses. Blinking, he shook his head in wonder.

Elena.

This woman, who looked like his ex-lover had completely beguiled him. What had she done to him to confuse him so much?

The faint image of her lips on his from the night before echoed across his mind. He wanted to remember her, and his body yearned to understand what they had, but would it be enough? Would he be enough?

Becoming a father had scared him shitless, down to his very core. He honestly didn't even know if he wanted to, but the idea of not accepting the responsibility was even worse. He couldn't leave her alone to do this by herself. He would never forgive himself. He certainly had never forgiven his father for abandoning him. Like hell was he going to do that to his own kid.

If only she knew who he truly was. Would she still love him? In many ways he felt like a savage beast, taking his fill of his own selfish desires. He'd never needed anyone or anything since his world had come shattering down, and yet the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach told him differently.

He needed something. He needed her, and damned if he didn't know it, but would she want him too? After all who could ever learn to love a beast?

The nagging question hung in the air as he stepped out of the shower and toweled off his wet body. One thing was certain, he needed answers and he needed them fast. Suddenly there was only one person he could think of to give him any straight answers. Although the thought of playing cat and mouse this early in the morning wasn't as thrilling as it used to be. Grabbing his phone on the counter he found her number still available in his phone. Hitting her name he held the phone to his ear and waited while it rung. He knew this was a long shot but she was his only hope, his only window to the outside world.

"Hello handsome." She cooed practically on cue.

"Hey kitty, wanna come over and play?" Damon asked. It had been his siren call for her. Little did he know he hadn't called her that in awhile, and it took a moment for her to collect herself and answer.

"Damon? What are you playing at?" she asked coyishly.

"I have some questions I need answered. I need to see you."

"Then I'll come to you handsome. My my do we have some catching up to do." She said, and hung up.

Damon stood staring at the blank screen of his phone suddenly anticipating her arrival, and what it would mean. Would he remain in love as he'd always been, or would his heart still yearn for the untold desires he clung to of Elena?

Truthfully, he knew only time would tell.


	6. There Goes Your Heart

" _I can send you into overdrive…see anybody could be bad to you, you need a good girl to blow your mind." Bang Bang, Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj_

 **Ch. 6**

Damon's palms twitched over his glass as he looked into the flames before him. This seemed like a natural way to pass the time. At least this way he could be distracted by the illumination of the flames as they fought for control over the wood in the hearth beneath his feet. He had hoped the drink in his hand would steady his nerves and his thoughts for what was about to happen.

Katherine. He was about to encounter the woman who had single handedly ripped his heart out. He suddenly felt very clammy and nauseous. What had happened to them had been his fault. He was sure of it, and if shed been any older there wasn't a doubt in his mind he would have fought harder for her. He'd driven her to leave. Hell he'd even asked repeatedly what she had hidden from him. Could he really blame her for moving on with her life? Although she had seemed happy to hear from him over the phone, but what did she want from him?

A knock on the door cleared his thoughts right up as he stood up and set down his crystal tumbler on the furnished coffee table in front of him. One thing he did notice, Stefan sure had kept the Boarding house in good condition. He had been surprised and a little hurt to discover that Stefan had inherited the estate from their late mother, but he'd apparently missed a lot over the past few months. Perhaps it was his mother's way of closing the gap between families. At any rate he was relieved to have a place to land for the meantime.

Pushing those thoughts away he headed for the door and opened it to a shocking discovery.

Katherine was here standing in his doorway, but in her arms was a…what did they call it? A bassinet? A cradle? God he could be so dense about baby stuff.

Baby. She had a baby, and from the sounds of it he, or she was ready to come inside.

"Hello there handsome. Think you could let us in? Seems this little guy is hungry." She said directly. Damon's body froze as he forced himself to nod.

Katherine was a mother. If he wasn't so petrified he might have been amused. The idea of her raising a child seemed almost laughable. She had to have been the least responsible person he'd ever met.

Setting down the car seat holder she grasped a bottle out of the side pocket to her purse/baby bag. Lifting the blanket that covered the seat she lowered the bottle until she heard coos from the little one. Damon took a step closer, attempting to try to seem interested in this new turn of events.

"So…you're a mom?" he asked, questioning lining his tone.

"Yup. I'm a mama. I know what you're thinking. How could this have happened? Well handsome I can be quite the charmer as you well remember."

"Indeed." He said, his eyebrow lifting as she unbuckled the straps around the small infant. He couldn't be very old; he was practically a new born.

She lifted the small body and held him to her chest. He had large brown eyes that resembled hers and a tuft of soft brown curls framing his face. He was downright adorable just like Katherine.

"He got his eyes from you." Damon declared.

Katherine warmed and smiled at the comment. "Yeah and from his daddy." She added appreciatively.

"Oh? Who's his father? Anyone I know?"

"Funny you should ask…." She said her voice tapering off and her eyes lowering to the floor.

"You're not telling me…" he said, his mind jumping to conclusions. Could he possibly already be a father and not remember? How did Elena fit into this?

"Don't get any ideas handsome. He's not yours but I'm sure this is going to be awkward anyway. His name is Mason Lockwood. You remember the Lockwood's don't you?" she stated having a seat on the leather sofa next to the fireplace. Her arms held the infant towards her breasts as she lowered the bottle to her son's awaiting mouth.

"Mason Lockwood? Really? As in my bro owns Mystic Falls?"

"As in his brother is the Mayor, and really it's not that big a deal."  
"Uh huh."

"Well, I mean soon to be Mrs. Lockwood but you probably figured that all out."

"Wow, you really do know how to pick 'em." Damon said baffled. She certainly always had been about the money. This new lifestyle shouldn't surprise him, but in a way he felt nostalgic. They could never go back now. She'd clearly moved on, so is that why he'd moved on to Elena? Was she simply his fix for not getting the real thing?

"Katherine. I have a million questions, and I'm sure you don't want to answer them all right now. But can you at least tell me what 'we' are?"

"Us?" she asked seductively. He would have been swayed except for the bouncing baby boy on her knee.

"We're _friends_ Damon. You've been such a big help to me during my pregnancy and honestly I don't know what Jack and I would have done without your support." She said, her voice tinged with emotion.

"My support? What about Mason?"

"Well up until little Jack here was born he was sort of out of the picture. I guess he had a hard time committing to us, but then after the complications during delivery…." She said tapering off, Damon interjected immediately.

"Complications?"

"I guess I have a rare heart condition, and when I delivered it put strain on my body. I almost bled out. Luckily I was brought in when I delivered, otherwise I might not be here."

Damon's mind reeled. Katherine had almost died having her baby. That near death experience would case anyone to have a change of heart. He hoped for the boy's sake she would. He couldn't possibly fathom how her selfish heart could love someone else, but here she was in front of him, feeding her son, and he couldn't help but be moved. She must have grown up.

Before he knew it he was sitting down next to her his eyes fixed on her and the boy in her arms. He couldn't imagine anything more beautiful. The look of love in her face towards her son was genuine and suddenly the idea of being a father wasn't so terrible. His thoughts turned to Elena once more as he thought about their awkward predicament. Yearning to know more answers about her he decided to ask Katherine. Where was the harm really in asking her about her sister? Surely she must know more than him.

"So, what does your sister think of her new nephew?" Damon asked, hoping to steer the conversation his way.

"I wouldn't know. She hasn't been by to the mansion yet to say hello. Seems she was a bit preoccupied with someone else." Katherine said, her eyes adding what they both knew. She'd been obsessed with Damon, waiting for him to return to her. His heart ached at the thought that anyone had done that for him.

"Can I trust her Katherine? I mean how well do you know her?"

"Honestly Damon, I really can't help you with that. I just discovered we were sisters myself. Its not like she's put out the welcome wagon either. Aside from the fact that we have the same face she's been pretty standoffish."

"So she's a snob?" Damon asked haughtily.

"No, not necessarily just spoiled I think. Anyways I just wanted to drop by and let you know the situation. You're invited to the engagement party if you want to come, but I understand if it would be too awkward for you. I know if you were getting engaged it would bother me." She said leaning down to put Jack back into his car seat. She buckled him up and put his bottle away while Damon's mind registered what she said.

"Yeah I don't think my presence would be a good idea...but wait why would it bother you?"

"Well for obvious reasons…"

"Such as?" he said closing the distance between them. He could practically feel the electricity erupting between them.

"Our history. I could never really be over you Damon. You know that don't you?"

"Then if you're not over me why are you with this scumbag who's only idea of commitment is marrying you after you have his kid?"

His voice was filled with malice but he couldn't help it. If this man had her he better damn well know what he was winning.

"Its sweet of you to care." She said, and leaned into him, leaving a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"I know it doesn't make sense now, but in a few weeks you'll be back to normal and hating me. Just live your life Damon, move on with Elena."

"I could never hate you. Besides I don't know her Katherine. I know you, I…" he said, his voice faltering as he fought to tell her he loved her, their eyes locking. Heat filled his blood as her eyes filled with longing. He wanted her; he wanted to lose himself in her eyes, her kiss. To forget everything, and just start over, but her body was resisting. He could practically feel her withdrawing from him.

"Shh…don't say something you don't mean." She said.

"But I do."

"Damon…" she warned, her lips inching ever closer to his.

"I've had enough." He said, leaning down and kissing her. Their lips met, and for a moment Damon melted. He'd wanted this for so long, her body molding to his, as her lips melded with his own.

At least he'd thought this was what he wanted.

She moaned as he decided to deepen the kiss, to try harder. This had to be what he'd envisioned. Elena had been playing through is mind all day, but he wanted Katherine. Didn't he? Yet for some reason the second their lips had met, something had been missing. Pulling away from her he held her face in his hands. He was lost and utterly confused. She should be what he wanted.

"That bad huh?" Katherine asked smirking. Damon looked utterly confused and sheepish.

Sighing Katherine looked into his eyes, "Damon. I know you're confused. I just want you to know I do care about you and if there's anything you ever need I'm here for you." She said kissing him once more, leaning into it as if it would be the last time. He tried to get lost in her kiss once more, but they were interrupted by the front door of the boarding house opening and a gasp following.

"Damon?"

Elena stood transfixed in the doorway unable to move from the sight she had seen. Damon had been kissing Katherine, her own sister. How could this be happening? Anger boiled within her as she took in the sight in front of her.

"Elena." Katherine said, pulling away from Damon. Her smirk she concealed as Damon turned away. He did his best to wipe the kiss from his lips and look nonchalant.

"I'll leave you two lovebirds alone to get caught up. It was good to see you Damon." She added, leaning down and picking up the car seat holding baby Jack.

A stunned Elena stood frozen in the door way as Katherine pushed her way past her, and whispered, "Game on little sis."

It took everything inside of Elena to not knock her on her ass right then and there. She wanted to give the little home wrecker a dose of her own medicine.

Elena stepped inside of the house and closed the door so that it was just her alone with Damon. He was the first to break the silence.

"Elena, what are you doing here?"

Elena walked towards him, her hands in fists at her sides until she stood in front of him and slapped him hard across the face. Her hand stung from the blow as she felt pride in seeing a red streak begin to form across his jawline and a curse word erupt from his mouth.

"The hell Elena?"

"That was for kissing my sister, and this is for remembering why." She said grabbing his face in her hands and kissing the daylights out of him.

Kissing Katherine had been lacking but kissing Elena was the complete opposite.

Pleasure erupted from deep within him as his nerve endings inside his lips blazed. Clutching Elena's face in his own hands, Damon moaned, meaning to deepen the kiss as Elena pulled away.

He groaned from lack of contact feeling like a schoolboy who had just been told the word no for the first time.

He wanted Elena, he wanted her badly and the bulge in his tightening pants was becoming a hard reminder.

"You ever kiss her again, I will make sure you never get a kiss like that from me ever again, understood?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Now, I came here for a reason."

She said matter of factly stepping into the family room and standing in front of the fireplace.

"I know you must have a million questions and I can be the one to give you answers. Before, when we were together, we didn't have much time being friends. I would like to start over with you Damon. I know you can't remember me, but I could never forget you. So please let me help you remember. Just give me one day."

"One day?" he asked, coming forward so he was standing right in front of her.

"That's all I'm asking. After that if you decide you want to be with someone else, I won't stand in your way."

Damon swallowed and Elena felt fear gripping her heart. He held all the power; he could turn her away in an instant, and never want to see her again. She could loose him again, this time forever.

"Ok." Was all he said, "but I have some conditions."  
"Anything."  
"One, that you are completely honest with me. Are you sure you can agree to accept all sides of Damon Salvatore?"

"I already have."  
"Then you'll have no trouble accepting my offer to become my muse."  
"Your what?" Elena asked awkwardly, she had no idea what he meant.

"I mean my inspiration." He said with a sideways smirk.  
"For what?"

"It might just be better to show you."

"I don't know," she said shakily. He'd never asked her to do anything like this before.

"Are you ready to meet the real Damon Salvatore, Elena?"

"Yes." She said simply, even though she was sure she'd already been introduced to all aspects of him.

"Then follow me baby, you're in for one hell of a ride."

Elena took his outstretched hand and let him lead her upstairs as anticipation and fear lined her senses, what had she gotten herself into?

 _ *****Oh no what's Damon got hiding in his closet? LOL**_

 _ **I've been updating this story and I made a few tweaks in this chapter here and there but its still all the same lovely drama. Hope you're enjoying the story!**_


	7. Never Gonna Leave

**_*****RATED M FOR EXPLICIT CONTENT: WARNING LEMONS AHEAD :)***************************_**

 _"You push me. I don't have the strength to resist or control you. So take me down. You hurt me, but do I deserve this? You make me so nervous. Calm me down, calm me down."~Never Gonna Leave This Bed, Maroon 5_

 **Ch. 7**

Elena's heart raced as she felt Damon's hand in hers. He was still leading her through the darkened hallways of the boarding house. She was unsure of many things, but one thing was clear, she was about to see a side to Damon Salvatore she had never encountered. His face was alight with determination and anticipation as they neared the end of the hallway. Before she knew it they were stopping in front of a closed door that was adjacent to Damon's bedroom. Elena had never been inside of this particular room before. In fact the simple notion that she'd never seen it opened perplexed her and filled her with eagerness she was ashamed she had. Elena was certain she had been introduced to all of the rooms in the boarding house when she'd dated Stefan. Of course, it never really had been on her to do list to have a full tour of the entire house. Perhaps she should have been more aware of her surroundings. The simple idea that this door had remained a mystery made this moment with Damon even more exciting and treacherous.

"Elena." Damon said, sultry eagerness lining his voice as he stood in front of the door gazing deep into her eyes. For a moment she was completely hypnotized. His piercing gaze had her riveted to the floor, ready for anything he offered.

"Yes?" she inquired, her voice timid and barely audible.

"Behind this door is a part of who I am. In many aspects it's a part of me that I don't tend to let others see." He said aggressively looking into her eyes with an intensity that mirrored the gravity of the situation. Without hesitation he asked, "Have I ever taken you here before?"

"No." she said simply, intrigued that he'd never in fact shown this part of him to her until now. When he had no inclination of who she really was. The thought twisted inside her heart and turned into pain. She'd always wanted to love this man. So why had he withheld something so vital? If he was showing her now, it must have meant something to him at some point in his life. Why hadn't he shown her?

"Good. I'm glad I get to remember your reaction. Just remember to try to keep an open mind."

"Ok, just as long as you know its not going to change my feelings for you."

"It might."

"Damon, why are you still doing this? What difference could a room possibly make? I've already told you how I feel about you. I love you Damon, whatever skeletons you have I'm willing to overlook because you are everything to me."

"Just wait until I open the door."

Elena practically rolled her eyes, and silently nodded letting him take a key off of the top of the door. She'd apparently always had access she didn't know she had to a room so full of possibilities.

Damon unlocked the door and opened it slightly before turning to her one final time.

"Do you at least know I'm a photographer?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency.

"Of course." She replied automatically. "Its one of the first things you showed me about yourself."

"Interesting." He said and stepped inside the room, turning on the light. Elena followed him and was surprised to find the light was red, and the walls were painted black. It was his dark-room. Elena practically sighed with relief. At least it wasn't his "red room of pain." Or was it? Lining the walls were images she'd never seen. A picture of her face lining the walls, until she realized it wasn't her face. It was her sisters, Katherine. A few images of her in naughty lingerie were tacked up on the opposite wall from the door. She instantly wanted to tear them down, when she realized how worn they looked. Some of them even looked as if they were ripped off the walls. As though he had tried to get rid of them and had abandoned the project. She smirked, knowing he must of forgotten to take them down. She was still in awe of the images across the room. Pictures of landscapes, and of women in compromising poses that would have made a preacher blush. Her eyes continued their journey around the room until they landed on an image of her. Images she'd seen hanging in the middle of the room she was sure were of them. They were of their shared day at the Quarry.  
"Well I'll be dammed." Damon said closing the door behind them and walking briskly to the line that hung with images of them. Elena smiled; their first kiss was hanging on display in the center of the room. It was practically the focal point of the entire area.

"You really must have meant something to me." Damon said finally, a whisper on his lips as he studied the image in front of him.

"Why would you say that?"

"You're holding my camera." He said simply, as if that cleared everything up.

"And…that's bad?" she asked.

"No…just rare. Very rare, my camera's are like my babies." He said without thinking. Irony was not lost on him as Elena smirked.

"I see."

"I've never shown you these?"

"No, Damon you haven't but I don't know why. These are amazing. Some of them are a little risqué and I'm still contemplating why you have pictures of half naked women in here, but other than that its amazing. Why wouldn't you show me your talent?"

"I guess I'm still a pretty secretive person. I just don't understand…" he said his voice tapering off. It was as if he was still searching for something. Elena came towards him, helping him lift pictures and move papers around. She didn't know what she was doing, but she figured if it was important to him, it was important to her.

After a moment he realized she was next to him, and asked abruptly. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you." _Obviously_ …she thought.

"Do you even know what I'm looking for?" he asked bluntly. Elena shied away from him, setting the papers down.

"No, I guess I don't…I just thought you'd want some help."

"Well I don't."  
"Then why am I here Damon?"

She asked, tension rising in the room as Damon stood still, his body hardening before her. His back was rigid and firm, as if he was attempting to pull himself together. She got the sense of anger emanating from him, and she suddenly felt frightened of what he might do. She trusted him, but she trusted her Damon. She didn't know this Damon. He was darker, and from the looks of it a lot more vulnerable and sensitive to her actions.

"Because…I want you." He said, his voice coming out like a rugged prayer from the heavens.

Every muscle within her womb contracted and a dull ache began to rise within her lower abdomen. He wanted her, and damn these pregnancy hormones, she wanted him too if not more. In fact the idea of jumping him then and there was not an altogether bad concept for her. She had arrived that evening in a skirt and tank combination, and his black jeans and navy button down seemed easy enough to get off…

"Then what's stopping you?" she asked, her voice turning husky and warm. He turned to look at her then. His face was glowing red from the light above them, but she could still make out his blue eyes burning with the same longing as her own.

"If you're to do this for me, if you're going to be my muse you have to bind yourself to me."

"Bind myself to you? Damon are you completely oblivious to the obvious here?" she asked pointing to her slightly swollen mound. She was only a few months pregnant but it had just started to become visible. "I don't get any closer to you than this." She admitted haughtily.

Damon smiled, a low knowing smile and said, "That's true, but there are restrictions to what we can do."

"What does that mean?"  
"It means I need you really hot and bothered when I capture your essence. I want to know you're ready and wanting me. It makes for better photography."

Elena let the words sink in and she realized what he was asking her. He wanted to take photos of her. Photos like the ones of Katherine.

The idea was alluring, and yet disarming all at once. She liked the idea of turning him on, and of making him want her. She knew it would make her ready for him, but she didn't know if she would want to share him with the world. She especially didn't know what he expected if she was pregnant. After all when was the last time someone had taken photos of a newly pregnant girl for lingerie? She sure didn't remember seeing that in the latest Victoria Secret.

"You have got to be kidding me." She said, a mocking tone echoing through the empty room.

"I'm dead serious."

"Damon, look at me." She said motioning towards her body.

"I am." He said, his tone becoming even deeper as he stepped towards her. "You're beautiful Elena. I couldn't keep you off my mind today. You're all I've thought about. These pictures…I was reminded of that day in my shower this morning. Care to remind me how it went?" he cooed, lifting his hand to brush a lock of hair off her face. The contact of his fingers on her flesh made her nerves turn on with a sheer will power and intensity that frightened her. She never could control her emotions when she was around him.

The heady thoughts filling her mind overcame her and he consumed her thoughts, suddenly reminding her of their first time. Then it hit her he'd remembered them.

"You remembered?" she asked hope filling her voice.

"Only flashes of flesh and moans." He said, his eyes looking down at her plump lips. She knew he wanted to kiss her. She wanted it too, she wanted it so badly, but this is how they had started. Didn't she tell him she wanted to be friends? She wanted to take things slow? To give him one day to figure out what he wanted?

 _He wants_ _ **you**_ _idiot._ Her mind shouted at her. But did he want _her_? Or was it simply that she'd started the same fire she'd lit the moment they'd met. They'd never had a problem in this department. Being together had always felt amazing and right, but would it be enough?

Elena pushed her thoughts down as she struggled with wanting to make him remember her. To remind him of every moment they'd shared since the quarry. Of the moments they'd laughed, the moments they'd cried, and shared joy in the rain. She wished with all her heart he could remember that.

"I remember." She said thickly.

"Show me." He commanded, his hand leaving her face following the lines of her body until he held her hand in his own and grasped it. Holding her hand firmly in his he showed her instead, the hardening part of his jeans beneath her hands. Elena gasped as she became aware of his arousal for her. It intrigued her and turned her on instantly. He had always had that power of her.

Taking a step closer to him, she chose to play by his rules, and whispered in his ear, "I thought you wanted _me_ all hot and bothered." She made sure to put an emphasis on 'me' at the same time she groped him through his jeans.

He immediately let out a shudder and a groan from deep within his throat. She couldn't help but smile, as he practically became putty in her hands.

"You don't play fair." He said pulling away from her.

"Oh hon, you don't know the half of it." She said and licked her lips, watching as he became increasingly aware of her tongue lining her mouth.

"God, I just want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave."

"So do it."  
"Aaargh Elena…I have rules for myself. Very implicit rules that define a perimeter between a photographer and his muse."

"Then, forget about it. We don't have to do anything Damon. We can just sit here, and get more ideas for your photos." She said as she took a step back and took off her jacket seductively.

"What are you doing?" he asked breathlessly

"Playing your muse. Isn't that what you wanted Damon? Now lets see…if I'm to understand what you want I need to have a lot less clothing on."

"I suppose." He admitted stepping back to enjoy the show she was beginning to give him. Elena felt powerful and wanton as she continued to strip in front of Damon. Her skirt hit the floor next, revealing a pair of lacy black underwear underneath. The boy shorts covered her curves but their transparency left little to his active imagination. He could see her feminine folds at her center and suddenly wanted to feel her there. Reaching out she playfully slapped his hand away.

"Uh uh. You're not playing by the rules." She said cooing at him and lifting her tank next. Damon almost came undone right then and there. Her olive skin glowing under the lights still left him breathless. Her curves had him reeling. If he thought she looked anything like Katherine he was sorely mistaken. Her body was practically blossoming before him. Is that was pregnancy did he wondered? Her plump breasts were practically spilling out of the black lacy cups, and her abdomen was slightly swollen, causing him to want to reach out and caress her smooth skin. She was breathtaking, and his will power was lost.

"Fuck the rules." He said, pulling her towards him and crushing her mouth to his.

"But I thought you wanted a day?" she asked underneath his lips.

"I don't need a day. I want you Elena. I need you. Let me have you." He asked earnestly. Elena's body didn't need anymore convincing, but she wasn't about to have sex with her sisters picture glaring at her from up on the celling.

"Ok, as long as we can get out of here." She said motioning towards the image on the wall. Damon looked up and frowned. Then made quick work of turning off the light and leaving the room in a brisk manner. He practically pushed her down to lock the door and then he was kissing her and her back was up against the smooth wooden wall of he darkened hallway.

"Damon…" she breathed out, her hips grinding against his as his lips found her earlobe teasing her to surrender.

"Yes?" he cooed.

"I like your dark side." She said, and then bent down to suck his lower lip into her mouth. Damon's mouth eagerly took her tongue in his own and nipped her lip between his teeth. Elena moaned and practically begged him to tear her panties off right there.

"I'm so glad." He said, and lifted her so that her legs came up around his waist. Walking towards his bedroom he shuffled them to the bed and made quick work of the rest of their clothing. Practically ripping off his shirt she helped him undo his pants and let her lips caress his abdomen.

"Elena…" he breathed as she sank down off the mattress and down onto the floor.

"Shh…. let me make you feel all hot and bothered." She cooed.

Before Damon could protest her lips had completely and utterly covered his engorged cock.

"Fuck!" Damon screamed out.

Elena chuckled to herself, and whispered, "that's the idea…"

"Damn…has it always been like this?" he wondered out loud as Elena sucked him off perfectly. Her mouth swallowing him to the back of her throat and sending him into overdrive.

"mmmhmmm" she agreed, and the vibrations of her throat nearly made him cum down her throat.

"That's enough." He said pulling her off of him, and throwing her up on the bed. He needed her now; he wanted to be buried inside of her.

"My…someone's eager." She said, her eyes looking into his and daring him to make a smart-ass comment. He just didn't give a crap right now. He wanted her inner walls squeezing him as she screamed his name. Lord he suddenly wanted that more than he wanted air to breathe.

"Get on your knees." He said harshly, kissing her mouth one final time before she turned over.

"This might be rougher than you remember." He added as he entered her swiftly and fully in one swift movement.

Elena let out a moan of pleasure as he filled her to the brink. She knew she should have felt pain, but all she felt was pleasure. It was as if her body was remembering for her how good he could make her feel. Every nerve ending was on high alert as he moved, and rocked them both to the brink of pleasure; his sack hitting her sensitive nub with every thrust and causing her to scream his name.

"God, Damon!" she yelled, doing her best to cheer him on. Although he felt so good inside of her she never wanted him to stop.

Hitting her G-spot one more time, she came in a tidal wave of pleasure. His body stilled as he pulled out of her allowing her orgasm to crash around her as he watched. His hands gliding in and out of her, making her coat his fingers. Without warning he took his fingers out and lifted them to her lips.

"Suck." He commanded. She blushed and did, as she was told, unaware of the primal urges she had just put into motion. Damon practically lost his load feeling her suck her own juices off of him. He wasn't going to let himself come without her though, so he lay down and allowed her to drop down on top of his large member.

Sinking down on top of him Elena sighed and began moving at a leisurely pace. It was driving him crazy but the prolonged gratification had Damon appreciating the woman writhing on top of him. He spent the moments of pleasurable agony feeling her skin underneath his, and allowing his fingers to pinch her nipples to hard peaks. Every time he did so, she let out an appreciative groan, urging him to continue. It wasn't until her walls tightened a second time that he felt his release ready to erupt out of him. Burring himself in her one last time, he thrust upward and emptied his seed, milking her and enjoying every minute of it.

Lying beneath her exhausted, Damon felt sated and at peace knowing, this girl in his arms would be the one to break the mold. She would be the one to put his world back on its axis. He simply needed to find a way to pick up the pieces, and something told him she would be his key to finding out just what those pieces were.

 **********AUTHORS NOTE******************

 **Whew…that was HOTT….I sure hope you enjoyed it ;)**

 **I'm going to bed now, but please let me** **know if you liked it or not!**

 **Please REVIEW!**


	8. Miracles

******WARNING MORE EXPLICIT CONTENT**********

" _When this memory fades, I'm gonna make sure its replaced with chances taken, hope embraced and have I told you? I'm not going cause I've been waiting for a miracle, and I'm not leaving. I wont let you, let you give up on our miracle when it might save you." Miracle, Paramore_

 **Ch. 8**

Elena awoke the next morning blissfully sore and with a sense of safety she hadn't felt in months. She stretched out her stiff muscles and yawned appreciatively as hands wove themselves around her torso. She smiled to herself feeling Damon's warm body aligning every inch of her backside. She especially felt certain parts of him that seemed stiffer than her muscles.

"Good morning." He said gruffly in her ear as he kissed the nape of her neck.

Elena practically melted as she sunk back into the pillow behind her. This had to be heaven, or a dream. Her life couldn't possibly be this good.

"Morning." She mumbled as she turned her head to face him. She was immediately met with a lingering kiss as his lips attacked hers. It had been like this for hours it seemed. After their first round Elena had stayed splayed out across his body, enjoying the feeling of him being inside her. Which had suited them both perfectly since round two followed soon after and they chose to christen the windowsill. She blushed still remembering her bare back being pressed against the glass, knowing anyone could have seen them had made it even more exciting and the orgasm that much more intense.

Shifting her thoughts to the present, Elena could feel Damon shifting her body beneath his own. She loved seeing him this way, his strong arms braced on either side of her while he looked down at her. His ocean eyes seemed to see straight through her and she lifted her lips to his, capturing his mouth in a searing kiss that left them both breathless. After what could have been several minutes Damon lifted his head and looked at her once more. The intensity of his stare shook her to her core. He had done this continually throughout the night, looking at her as if he would loose her. It made her feel anxious and saddened all at once.

"What is it Damon?" she asked, her hand lifting up to caress the side of his cheek.

"I just can't seem to get over it." He admitted, sighing as her hands caressed his skin and got lost in his messed hair.

"Get over what?"

"How different this is. To feel this…"

"Feel what?"

"Happy." He said simply, but she could suddenly see a sheen of tears lining his eyes. It made her heart constrict in pain. He had never known love. At least not the way he was supposed to.

"Its ok that you are. You know that right?" she said reassuringly. He nodded and lifted himself off of her body sitting up along the side of the mattress, the sheet cascading down his body to leave him completely bare to her eyes. He was magnificent. His hard body sculpted the way every man should be, hard but soft to the touch. He was like a marble statue that had been created from stone. She could barely stand how tragically beautiful he looked, and he was all hers. At least she hoped he was.

"Damon, what is it? What are you so afraid of?"

"You. Us. I've never felt like this before. The last time I even came close to being this happy it was ripped away from me. I couldn't stand it if I lost you again. I don't think I could survive." He said, his voice full of emotion and fear that Elena sensed. She knew he'd been in love with Katherine. That wasn't news but the reminder that he had wanted a future with her sister was still painful for her to hear. She didn't want to remind herself of that particular union especially after their night of passion and bliss. At any rate, he should at least be reassured that she wasn't her sister. She was the total opposite of everything she stood for, but he didn't remember that. Sadness filled her mind, as she crept towards him on the bed, her hand finding his soft tresses once more.

"You're not going to loose me."

"You don't know that. You don't know me. What I'm capable of."  
"So what are you capable of? What could be so terrible that you can't bear to show me? You already introduced me to your dark room. What else is there?"

"Oh Elena…he said, his voice dropping off as he stood to face her. His body was in full pleasure mode. His erection standing stiff and ready for her, it practically made her squirm with desire.

"There's just so much you don't know about me."

She stood up then, grabbing on to his hard shoulders and looking into his eyes.

"There's nothing you could show me that would change my mind. I'm not going to give up on us, not when I could save you." She breathed, standing on her toes and kissing his soft lips.

What should have been an innocent kiss soon turned into a passionate embrace. Damon's hands clung to her hips as he pulled her closer to his body. The simple gesture had Elena's neither lips dripping with anticipation. She wanted him again.

Breaking the kiss Elena looked into his eyes. "I think I need to remind you." She purred, and grabbed his hand. She pulled him towards the connecting bathroom to his bedroom. It still amazed her how luxurious his bedroom really was. Who had this much room for just one person?

Dragging him beside the shower she stopped and turned it on full blast, letting the spray get warm underneath her fingers before turning to face him once more. His eyes were darkened with desire. She knew he was ready for her, but this was important. He had to remember her, their love and what the water represented.

"Damon, I want you to make love to me, but before you do I want you to know why I chose this place."

"Well I thought it would be obvious. You like seeing me wet…" he purred leaning forward and giving her a peck on the lips.

Elena giggled, and looked back up at him seriously, "No, not exactly. Although it is one of your more attractive looks."

"So what is my most attractive look?" he asked, stepping closer to her and lining their bodies up against each other. Elena could barely remember why she'd stopped him in the first place…

"Damon…the water isn't just for ambiance, or setting the mood. It has a meaning."

"So I've taken you in the shower before? That doesn't surprise me."

"Actually no, but that's not the point."

"I haven't? Why the hell not?"

"Shh just listen. The night of the accident it was raining, we'd gotten caught up in it. It was the night you'd found out about our baby. I was so scared you were going to say you didn't want it. That you'd run away from it, but then you were so sure. So ready to be mine and be apart of this little one's life, and I just fell in love with you all over again."

"So you're trying to help me remember." He said flatly.

She nodded, and stepped into the shower's spray.

"Just try, for me." She asked, and he obliged watching, as her body got wet from the shower. The steam rolled off her body in all the right places and it suddenly made him question why he'd hesitated in the first place.

Stepping into the shower he pulled her close, and when their lips met under the water he felt something stir inside of him. This time it wasn't a feeling of pleasure but rather a sense of importance, that he needed her now or he would die from it. The urgency frightened him as an image passed in front of his eyes and he could practically hear his voice in his mind,

" _I want you, all of you. I love you Elena Gilbert, you're the good, and I need a little good in my life…"_

" _I don't know how to believe you…"_ her voice echoed and sliced through his heart.

He pulled away from Elena then as if he'd been slapped. Her face mirrored his of confusion.

"Damon, what is it?"

"You don't believe me."

"Believe you? About what? Damon what's going on?"

"I told you I wanted all of you…"  
"You're remembering. It worked?"  
"How on earth is that a good memory? I was trying to convince you to be with me, and there you were not wanting me."

"No Damon…you're not remembering the whole thing."

"I've heard enough." He said in a clipped tone. Then he turned and exited the shower, leaving a frustrated Elena wanting more.

Damon grabbed a towel from the rack and dried off as best he could while fighting off the shadows in his head. Then he heard the water shut off and Elena coming up behind him as she grabbed a towel beside him. She wrapped the plush red towel around her torso and grabbed him turning him to look at her.

"Damon, please listen to me. I'm not trying to hurt you."

"You can't possibly understand Elena. I don't even know how to feel about you."

"Then just trust this," she said grabbing his hand. She placed his hand on her naked chest over her towel and heart as she looked deep into his eyes.

"Does this feel wrong?" she implored.

He fought for control of his emotions seeing her like this. She was so beautiful, and he wanted her, but was it enough? Was he enough?

"Does this feel wrong?" she asked again moving her hand up to cup his face.

"No, of course not."

"Then believe me when I say that night changed both of our lives for the better."

"How?"

"Just remember." She said as she kissed him once more, her lips molding to his the way they had before underneath the shower. He noticed they moved against his with an urgency he hadn't felt before. It was bewildering and exciting all at once. It instantly had his blood pooling in all the right places and he was done trying to remember. He simply wanted her. He returned the kiss with a vengeance, lifting her until her legs swung around his body. Holding her there he tore the towel off of her body and then his own, entering the shower. He pressed her skin to the cool tile behind them and heard her moan as his erection met her wet center.

Reaching out he turned on the water, feeling steam rise he tore his lips away from hers and explained, "We're going to make new memories so spread your legs."

She gasped at the directness of his command, but willingly obliged and let out a muffled moaned as he entered her. Pulling up her leg he pulled out a fraction of an inch and drove in once again. He saw starbursts behind his eyelids at the sweet tightness of her warmth. He'd never felt someone so perfect around him. She fit him perfectly, better than anyone ever had and he lost himself in her. So much so it scared him. The need, God.

"You're so tight baby," he breathed, thrusting as she ground along to the movement of his hips.

"God, yes so perfect for me…" he added as she kissed the nape of his neck.

"Just feel me baby…" she breathed and tightened her walls even more around him. He lost all control pounding into her relentlessly and before he knew it had lost himself in her once more; his seed spilling down her legs and mixing with the water around them. It wasn't until he pulled out of her that he realized he hadn't let her climax.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean to leave you wanting." He explained, and before she could stop him he'd lowered himself down to the shower floor and had begun to lick her soft wet folds. She moaned in surprise as his skillful tongue lapped at her center. Adding a finger in between he gave her sensitive nub the attention it deserved and entered another finger in to give her more pleasure.

"Oh my God…Damon!" she screamed as her walls tightened around his fingers and her felt her wetness coating his fingers.

"That's it baby, give it all to me."

"I'm all yours." She said breathlessly as he stood once more and kissed her with a passion that mirrored her own. Bending down Damon lifted Elena bridal style and exited the shower, leaving the shower running and letting the floor soak with water as he carried her to the bedroom. He lowered her on the bed and kissed her again, and letting her know he wasn't done with her. Not by a long shot.

"I'm not ready to give you up." He exclaimed as he kissed her again and she moaned in appreciation, letting him know she wasn't either.

"You'll never have to." She replied and let him get lost in her once more.

 **************AUTHORS NOTE*****************

 **God I'm so happy with these past two chapters. Its been really fun to write these two so in love ;) However happiness is always short lived where Delena is concerned. Things are about to get a little complicated so just cling to these two chapters as long as you can. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Continue checking my twitter iHeart1202 for youtube inspirational videos and spoilers ;)**


	9. What If?

" _What if it makes you sad at me?  
And what if it makes you laugh now  
But you cry as you fall asleep?  
And what if it takes your breath  
And you can't hardly breathe?  
And what if it makes the last sound  
Be the very best sound?_

What if what I want makes you sad at me?  
And is it all my fault or can I fix it, please?  
Oh cause you know that I'm all for you."

 _What if, SafetySuit_

 **Ch.9**

Damon rolled over once more that day, feeling at peace and yet at war with himself. This woman lying next to him had unwoven and unraveled him so completely in such a short amount of time. He used to be so sure of his armor. It had become his weapon against the opposite sex and anyone else who dared get close to him. The only one who had dared break it before now had been Katherine, and look where that had gotten him. He always ended up alone.

The loneliness had suffocated him to the point of drowning in it, until Elena had come blazing into his life. She was a whirlwind of passion and love that he'd scarcely begun to understand. If he'd thought she was anything like Katherine he knew now he had been wrong. Everything she had done since he'd woken up had proven that. She wasn't using him she loved him.

The truth of the matter was he had wanted Katherine after he woke up from his coma.

He'd felt the sting and the pain of loosing her, but when he'd kissed her he'd only felt the pressure of her lips on his. There was nothing tying him to her. It was as if the line of lust had been severed between them. Maybe it was that deep down he knew he could never be what she wanted him to be, or perhaps it was because he didn't like being used by her. Her love had always come with a price and he was done paying for it.

After his encounter with Katherine he'd silently convinced himself he was worthless. That no one would ever be able to break through his armor. That was up until Elena had slapped him.

No woman, other than his mother, had ever struck him before and it had awoken something inside of him. Something that until now had lay dormant for what seemed like years, a hunger, a yearning inside of him for someone to care. Then she'd kissed him and his world had been put into a blaze of lust and hunger for her. He'd never felt such longing for someone else in his entire life. She'd stopped him, and told him she would help him find himself again, and in many ways it had driven him mad with desire for her.

Now they were in each other's arms. They'd been making love for what had seemed like days but really it was only a day and half. His carnal longing to be connected to her was so intense he barely recognized it as desire anymore. He simply needed to have her or die from it. He sighed again as he gazed at her sleeping form curled up against every curve of his own body. She fit him like a glove, and God how it turned him on. She had no idea the power she held over him. Power that he knew she never wanted to use against him.

Lifting his hand he decided to stroke his hand across her warm olive skin, his hands memorizing the contours of her blossoming body. He didn't now how but her being pregnant had only made him want her more. The simple fact that she carried within her the proof of their love from before held merit to his feelings for her. It was the only substantial thing that tied him to her, and it validated his feelings for her. Aside from that fact her body itself was transformed into a voluptuous wonderland, and he never wanted to stop discovering it. Cupping a breast under his right hand he heard her sigh and sink back against him. Her throaty voice made him want to take her again and he fought for control as he leaned in to inhale her sweet soft scent from her forehead. He felt her stretch and lengthen against him. He knew she wasn't trying to drive him crazy, but no man could be unaffected by her sexuality. It was endearing and riveting, and she seemed to always have his undivided attention.

"Goodmorning sunshine." He purred against her holding her body closer to his as he captured her ear lobe in his mouth.

She gasped, a sigh of pleasure and turned to look into his eyes. Her brown orbs were filled with love and admiration as she said, "Good morning," and leaned towards his awaiting lips. She sighed as their lips met and then they both heard a roaring grumble from below. Elena leaned back with a look of embarrassment as Damon realized it had been her stomach.

"Sorry…I guess I'm a little hungry." She admitted, clutching her stomach and giving him a look of apology.

"Well we have seemed to work up an appetite." he said.

"Come on then handsome I'll make you breakfast." Elena declared and sat up bringing her with him. Standing Damon walked to the dresser and pulled out a drawer finding some boxers and a fitted black pull over shirt. Looking back he saw Elena searching the room for her particles of clothing form the previous day. He was sure she was going to figure out what was missing sooner rather than later so he stopped her,

"Elena, just wear something of mine. Its going to take you a decade to find all your clothes."

She giggled and allowed him to fit her with a button down shirt and a pair of his low hanging boxer briefs. Damn, she looked sexy as hell. Risky business had nothing on her.

"I'll meet you downstairs I just have to use the restroom." He told her, and she nodded leaving out the door and following the stairs down to the kitchen. Damon smirked and found her panties underneath the bed; lifting them he noted their transparency and wondered if she had planned this. Who wore black underwear and didn't expect to be laid? At any rate he took the panties as a trophy and went to hide them in his top drawer. Shifting clothes around he secured their hiding place and closed it. Knowing that in case everything went to hell, he would always have them as a momento of their lost weekend.

Smiling he walked to the closet next, searching for what he was really after. If his dark room didn't have what he was looking for, perhaps he would find it in his closet. He knew he had to have kept it. It was his secret, and there was no way his former self would allow it to get into the wrong hands. In his closet hung a row of plants and dark button down shirts. He pushed them aside revealing a safe. He knew the combination, a number that was relatively close to his heart—his mothers birthday.

Luckily the lock clicked open to reveal what he'd been searching for. It was a manila folder with copies of pictures to hinder the success of Daddy dearest. It was his blackmail, and his revenge for what he had done to his mother. Sure the doctors could never prove his suspicious theory because her death had been due to cancer, or so they had said, but Damon knew differently. The cancer had merely been a cover up. She'd been in remission, her cells fighting with every ounce of strength they had to conquer the darkness inside her. Doctors had called it a miracle, until it wasn't anymore. Damon had every reason to believe his father was behind it. After all, the images in this folder proved his infidelity and affair. He knew Giuseppe must have already searched the boarding house of every possible file, so he opened the folder hastily. Worried that its contents would be compromised. Pulling out the papers, he realized his worst fears. This wasn't the evidence he'd been compiling, but it was something he needed.

Lifting the pages he read the first file indicating property transference to Stefan McGuire. The pages were unsigned, and he suddenly realized what this must mean. The boarding house was his after all, and Stefan was trying to use his memory loss as a tool to take it away from him. He didn't know the meaning as to why Stefan would need to betray him like this. All he knew was that for the first time in two days he was seeing red, and not the good kind.

Taking the papers he deposited them into the folder from wince they came, and shoved the file into a suitcase. He knew only one other place that he needed to go to make sure all his problems went away: New York. If he'd kept his place there, it would be helpful in securing the rest of his scheme, and help him uncover the truth behind his mother's death. If he went there and failed, he would fail her, and that was not a risk he was willing to take.

For the next few minutes he took the time to quietly and quickly pack his bag. The only thing that stopped him was the smell of waffles drifting up the stairs. He'd almost completely forgotten about Elena. What would she make of this? What would she think of him if she found out? He was sure she wasn't used to him being a diabolical shrew. Heck, even he didn't understand himself some days. All he did know was he had to make up a reason for leaving and he had to make one up fast. Leaving his suitcase at the top of the stairs, Damon came down to the kitchen. His first instinct when he saw Elena was to ravage her. Her short briefs had been rolled (to stay on her slender hips he assumed) and her shirt had been tied in a knot at the back to keep it secure around her. She looked damn sexy, and Damon couldn't possibly help himself. He came up behind her and kissed her neck, breathing her in and savoring the feeling of her in his arms. He would miss her so much when he left, and lord only knew how long he would be away.

"Hey," she said, putting down the spoon for the batter, "breakfast is ready."

"Hmm….I'm suddenly not hungry." He said, his tongue making pathways on the back of her neck and making her squirm.

"Well I am so, come on loverboy we need to keep up our strength."

He sighed and let her go, following her to the table where she'd laid out their plates. He was amazed at how much work she'd put into making them waffles, eggs, and bacon. God, she was so amazing.

Sitting down they both dug in, and Damon practically moaned at the taste.

"My god these are good, what did you put in them Elena?"

"Its my mom's old trick, cinnamon in the batter. I hope you like it." She said absentmindedly as she continued to devour her own food. Damon knew she was eating for two, so he didn't say anything when she went to get seconds.

"Have you always cooked for me?" he inquired. He remembered so little of their lives before, and in many ways it bothered him.

"Actually, this is a first. You said we should make new memories…" she said drifting off and reminding him of their love making in the shower. His body convulsed remembering.

"Ah yes…new sounds good to me, but I would like to know more about you."

"Like what?" she asked taking a sip of her juice. Damon tried to think as she licked the sweet nectar off her lips.

"Like how old you are for one." He said, his eyebrows twitching so she knew he was being playful.

"Don't worry Damon, I'm 19 now. We're completely legal."

"What a relief. So that would mean you've graduated high school correct?"

"Correct." She said, trying to figure out why he suddenly seemed so interested in her academics.

"But its late September, shouldn't you be jetting off to college somewhere?"

he asked, until he realized from her expression why she'd stayed. It had been because of him.

"I should think that would've been obvious."

"But you had to have had dreams before us. What are your passions? I mean aside from me…" he said again smirking and making her squirm underneath his stare.

"I used to love to write, but I don't much anymore."

"Why's that?" he asked, slipping another mouthful of waffles into his mouth.

"Well…my life has been through a lot of twists and turns since before we met. I know you wouldn't remember but I lost my parents in a car crash last year. My mom and I used to write together, it was something that we shared, and now I just can't seem to bring myself to do it anymore."

Damon was floored. He couldn't believe she'd lost both of her parents in one day. How she'd managed to pick herself up off the floor was beyond him. Her sadness mirrored his own, and he knew too well the pain she must feel. It made him suddenly love her even more.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah well…it's certainly been a rough year for my brother and me, but we get by ok. I applied for guardianship and that's partially the reason why I stayed. I wanted to make sure he got through his senior year. I know mine was a doozy after Stefan."

So she had a brother. Damon wondered if he knew him, but her comment about his own made him pause, "What about Stefan?"

Elena cleared her throat, he knew this must have been awkward for her but he had to know.

"I was actually dating Stefan my junior year but after my parents…well he decided to go off to Whitmore and leave me behind."

"Wait, so that's why you two broke up?"

"Yup pretty much. He didn't want to try."

"Wow what a dick…"

"Pretty much. You done?" She said, and stood up. She was clearing their plates. He knew she must be uncomfortable with the topic at had but he had to know. Was she still hung up on Stefan? Because if he was just her rebound from his brother…well he'd never been good with sharing.

"Elena, do you still have feelings for him?" he asked bluntly.

Elena nearly broke their plates as they fell into the sink. Her back was to him but he could tell by her stance that she was angry.

"I don't know how you can even ask me that after yesterday."

Damon went to her, his arms turning her around so that he could look into her eyes. She fought him for a moment until his hand cupped her face. She sighed and waited for him to speak.

"I don't know either. I can tell you love me Elena, and it scares the hell out of me partially because I don't know what you expect of me. I know how much you want me, and I can feel it every time we're together, but I'm not the man I was two weeks ago. I don't know if I can give you what you need."

"You give me everything just by breathing." She said, grabbing his sides and looking into his eyes.

"Damon, I know trust is earned that you have to give it to get it, but I need you to trust me. I'm not Katherine. I know we're sisters and that we look practically the same, but I'm not going to leave you like she did; I'm not going to use you up and throw you away, I would never do that. Even if you don't remember."

She declared, standing on her tiptoes she kissed his lips and Damon lost all of his restraint. Lifting her he sat her down on the counter behind them, and deepened their kiss. She was so unexpected, so beautiful and he couldn't stop himself from wanting her.

But what if she discovered who he was? What if what he had planned ended up hurting her in the end? He'd never forgive himself for losing her.

Ignoring his impending thoughts he pushed them away as he relished in the feel of her, in her soft skin underneath his lips as he kissed down her abdomen as he unbuttoned her shirt. Pulling down her briefs he was welcomed with the sight of her neither lips, wet and waiting for him. Lowering himself down to his knees he took her in his mouth and smiled as he heard her cries of ecstasy from above. Using his tongue on her sensitive nub he helped her climb to her brink.

"That's it baby, cum for me, let me taste you." He muttered, his voice filled with need for her.

Practically on cue her body convulsed and he licked up her sweet nectar, needing her more as his erection grew in his boxers. Standing in between her thighs he lifted her off the counter and carried her to the living room. She lost her shirt somewhere in between along with his own, but he couldn't care less. He was determined to have Elena now, or die of it. Lowering her body along with his own onto the couch so that he could feel her underneath him. She moaned with pleasure as his hardened head grazed her sensitive center.

"I'm going to love you now…" he said hastily and in one fluid movement drove inside of her. Her body accepted him right away as her fingers laced themselves in the waves of his black hair. His body trembled as he thrusted mercilessly inside of her. Hearing her beg him to come for her, and he erupted within her. Without warning he was met with the realization that he was home, and he knew then that leaving her was not going to be easy task anymore.

Withdrawing himself from her, he looked into her eyes. She was sated and breathing heavily beneath him.

"Elena?" he breathed, his voice tight with emotion.

"Yes? She asked, a gasp leaving her throat as he removed himself from her sheath.

"I'm leaving." He said simply.

"What? Where?" she asked, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"New York, and I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"You can't just leave." she insisted, sitting up to take in what he was telling her.

"Nothing is keeping me here Elena. I have to go."

"What about me? Don't I get a say in this?"

"No,"

"No?" she asked her eyes filling with tears.

"No you don't, because I've already made up my mind." he states matter of factly.

"And what is that?"

"No, I've made up my mind that you are coming with me."

And with that he stood and kissed her once more to silence her outbursts. When he felt her body mold against his he knew he had his answer. She was coming with him, and he was determined to never let her go again.

 *************AUTHORS NOTE**********************

 **Well there it is the real reason behind the dark side of Damon Salvatore. Doesn't it always come down to the love of a woman? haha, or a scoundrel of a father? I'm looking forward to your reviews on this chapter. I hope you're not missing the rest of my characters too much, but you will be reading about some lovely Michaelsons in the next part of this story… :D**

 **Love you all!**

 **READ/REVIEW!**


	10. Too Close to Love You

_"You know I'm not one to break promises. I don't wanna hurt you but **I need to breathe**. At the end of it all, you're still my best friend. But there's something inside that I need to release. Which way is right? Which way is wrong? How do I say that I need to move on? You know we're heading separate ways, and it feels like **I'm just too close to love you**." ~Too Close, Alex Clare_

 **Ch.10**

Elena untangled her lips once more from Damon's as his words sunk in. He was going back to New York, and he was taking her with him. She wanted so badly to go, and to get swept up into the moment. That was until she remembered her responsibilities to Jeremy and the Grill. Technically her job was still open for her, should she decide to pursue it. She knew Alaric would welcome her back anytime but his overstayed welcome at her house had been enough to deal with over the past few months. His concern over Damon had shadowed her own. Come to think of it she probably should check her phone. It had been a few hours since she'd plugged back into the land of the living. Wrapping a blanket from the couch around her middle Elena explained,

"I'm just going to go take a shower and change back into some clothes. Seems you should too if you want to be leaving soon." She said with a wink.

Damon smiled and followed her upstairs. Entering his room she grabbed her discarded clothing and noted she needed to locate her panties…

Frustrated she eventually gave up as Damon passed her and began taking his own shower.

"You know you could always join me." Damon said smugly from the steam filled room.

"As tempting as that offer is, I think I should shower alone. Unless you never want to get to New York?" she said, her eyebrow shooting up as he gave her a pouty face. She giggled at him and left the room to find an empty bathroom. The boarding house was filled with them. She chose the communal one in the hallway and locked the door. Pulling her phone out of her pocket she was able to notice about 10 missed messages and calls from her brother, Caroline, and Alaric.

"Great" she breathed, as she hit the call button for Jeremy.

He picked up on the first ring.

"Elena is that you? Where the fuck have you been?" he practically screamed as she held the phone away from her face.

"Calm down Jer, I'm with Damon at the boarding house." She explained, leaning over the tub and turning on the water. She didn't want Damon to possibly overhear her conversation.

"Oh I see how it is. You get your main squeeze back and suddenly the rest of us are vapor."

"No. Not exactly. He's not really back.

"What do you mean?" Jeremy asked his interest piqued.

"Well…he doesn't seem to remember the last three years of his life, and I'm guessing the old Damon was a little edgier than what we're used to." She said, letting her voice drop to a softer tone.

"So in other words he's removed the stick up his ass?"

"Jeremy." Elena groaned, he could be so crass sometimes.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you two have picked up where you left off."

"Not really, I mean I feel like parts of him remember me, but I cant tell how much is real and what's just lust you know?"

"Ahh Elena gross…"

"I'm serious Jer, what if he's just using me?" Elena asked, her voice filling with emotion. She'd scarcely let herself think about these feelings since she'd gotten here, but now that she'd taken a minute to process everything it was becoming a bit overwhelming.

"Elena, just remind him of who you are. The doctors were hopeful he'd get his memories back right?"

"Right."

"Then you've just gotta stick it out. He'll come back to his senses. In the meantime, try to keep your legs closed."

"Jer!"  
"I'm serious. It's hard enough for him to think straight. No pun intended. You've gotta remind him of why he cared about you in more ways than one."

"I know, I know you're right." She relented. How had her baby brother become such a fountain of wisdom all of a sudden?

"Hey, by the way, if I take off for a few days you'll be ok with Alaric right?"

"What? Where are you going?" Jeremy asked paranoia lining his voice. He'd never liked Elena going out of town since their parents had died. She figured it had been the car crash that freaked him out most of all. He didn't trust road trips anymore.

"Well Damon has it in his head to go back to New York."  
"For how long?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well you can't just leave Elena. You're knocked up."

"I'm well aware of the fact."

"Well, then you know you shouldn't be traveling."

"Not for another couple of months. I'll be fine Jeremy."

"But you were on bed rest Elena. You really want to risk that?" he asked earnestly. She knew about his concern for her and baby peanut. She still hadn't had the heart to tell him about the miscarriage. It was too soon for her to even talk about it. She knew she would eventually, just not now. Some things were better left unsaid.

"I'll be with Damon. I'll be fine, and if I need to come home I will call you ok?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Ok then, I'll see you in a bit."

"What? Why?"

"Cause you're going to have to pack right? Even I know that." Jeremy said and then hung up the phone. Damon was not going to like the side trip, but she knew her little brother was right. She needed to go home, if for nothing else for the reassurance that she could pack and leave Mystic Falls behind. After all how hard could it really be?

* * *

A few minutes later, Elena and Damon were in his blue car headed to the Gilbert household. His bags had been suddenly packed and Elena found it intriguing how fast he'd seemed to pull this whole trip together. It made her suddenly wonder how long he'd been planning this.

"So, I just want to make sure you're really sure about this decision." Damon said from beside her.

"Damon, we've been over this. I think some time together could be good for us."

"You know you're right. You're not the worst company in the world Elena."

"I know." She said mockingly as they stalled in front of her house. "Wanna come inside?" she asked him. She assumed he didn't want to appear rude so he turned off the ignition and nodded. Following her to the front porch Elena hesitated at the handle. Damon's footsteps behind her had seemed to stop, and she didn't feel him directly behind her anymore.

"Damon?" she asked as she turned around. His body seemed almost frozen on her front porch steps as he stared straight through her.

"Damon? Damon are you ok?" she asked coming to stand in front of him.

Damon's mind reeled as memories flooded his head; Elena standing before him in cutoff shorts and a blue tank top. Her hair was pulled back and she looked utterly kissable in the glow of the afternoon. He was sensing her hesitation, but without thinking he was speaking to her, asking her permission to test out one more thing. To prove that what he'd just felt wasn't his imagination. He was kissing her, and she was melting underneath him.

"Damon…Damon?" Elena's voice echoed in his mind. It took him a moment to realize that she was standing right before him. Her face scrunched up in a worried expression as she grasped his.

"Oh my god, never do that again."

She breathed as he looked at her and smiled. Without warning he bent down and crashed his lips to hers. He wanted to feel it again, the passion and fire that she set inside of him. Pulling back he looked at her in wonder and amazement.

"My God Elena, you've always taken my breath away haven't you?" he asked as his thumbs stroked her smooth reddening cheeks.

"I guess so Mr. Salvatore." She purred, as she led him into he house. The place was warm and inviting, and seemed to completely fit her personality.

"Wanna come with me?" she asked as she motioned towards the stairs. Damon nodded, and then got the feeling he'd been here before. His head was beginning to pound from the memories as he slowly followed her up the steps and into her bedroom. Looking around Damon realized how young Elena really was. Her room was every bit the high school seniors room. Pom poms were on display on her dresser. A graduation cap hung on a peg by her window, and a fluffy teddy bear adorned her bed. Without being able to restrain himself Damon plopped himself down on her mattress and held the bear to his stomach.

"Hey did you know that I used to have a bear almost exactly like this?" Damon asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Elena rolled her eyes, and said, "Don't be mean. That's teddy and he's very temperamental."

"Oh…so is he the reason why you're shelf is broken?" he asked pointing to a rickety shelf at the corner of her bedroom. Elena's face turned red as she went to open her closet.

"No. actually that was me."

"Did you have a panic attack after seeing a spider?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Lets just say I was pretty upset when that happened. Its not one of my finer moments anyways." She explained, remembering a very dark day when she'd thought she would loose him. The doctors had done all they could and they were suddenly asking her and Stefan if they wanted to pull the plug. She'd been so furious that Stefan had even considered it that she'd taken it out on household furniture. His picture was the first thing to be torn from her wall amongst other things. She honestly should have done it months ago.

Damon's body filled with tension at the sight of her discomfort. Clearly she was remembering something painful for her.

"Elena…" he said pushing her to tell him the truth of what was really bothering her.

He might have had amnesia but he wasn't stupid. He could clearly see the wheels turning in her head.

"Look, Damon I'm worried about you, and this trip. I mean clearly you aren't acting like yourself."

"I haven't heard any complaints from you before now."

"That's because I'm trying Damon. I'm doing everything I know how to do to get you to open up."

"Well," Damon said standing and tossing teddy back on the bed. "Maybe you feel that way because you're used to seeing me on my best behavior. Is it possible that you're used to me not being myself?" he asked, as he loomed closer to her. Her heart rate accelerated in her ears and this time she was convinced it was more out of fear than desire.

Before they could continue their conversation a very large adolescent boy in the hallway rudely interrupted them.

"Elena? There you are!" he said embracing her.

"Jer, I told you I'd be here. Damon this is Jeremy, my brother." She said awkwardly. The introduction seemed forced, as she knew he should have been the one he remembered first.

"Little Gilbert." Damon said with a smile as he pulled Jeremy in for a hug.

"Guess he remembers me." Jeremy ground out.

"Well who could forget." He added as memories flashed of being in a restaurant, and drinking a lot. He seemed to go way back with this kid.

"How?" Damon asked bemused. His own memories didn't seem to fill in the gaps yet.

"We met working at the Grill. I was your student, you trained me in all the ways of the force." He said smirking.

"And on that note, I'm going to get packing." Elena said, as she kicked the boys out of her room. Damon and Jeremy didn't know how else to fill the awkward silence so Jeremy offered up a civil game of PlayStation. Damon accepted, and followed him downstairs.

Moments later Elena was calling for her brother and Damon was pausing the game. He'd beat Jeremy three times, and it was truly starting to annoy him.

"I thought you said you'd never played this game?" he moaned.

"I haven't. Great reflexes I guess." He crooned as Jeremy threw down his controller and went to assist Elena with her luggage.

"God sis are you planning to stay for a year?" he groaned carrying her luggage down the stairs. Damon was surprised to see one full sized suitcase, a duffel bag, and one carry on. How she'd managed to stuff all her crap into those suitcases was beyond him.

"OK gorgeous looks like we're ready." Damon said smugly, ready to leave.

"OK, now Jeremy you know where the emergency kit is right?"

"Yes mom, now go have fun." Jeremy said rolling his eyes as he handed Damon all the bags.

"Thanks bud."

"Anytime." Jeremy added, and left up the stairs to hug Elena once more.

"I'll be back soon Jer." She said, giving him a kiss on the cheek she descended the stairs and before he knew it they were off. Making way to the big apple, or as Damon remembered it fondly, the city that never sleeps. Either way this would be a trip he was determined never to forget.

************AUTHORS NOTE************

 **Ok I know this chapter seems a bit counter intuitive but there are a lot of things about to happen and you needed some fluffy background so...there it is! The Michaelsons will be making an appearance very soon in this story-especially Klaus so don't worry I havent forgotten about them.**

 ****Damon is remembering! Slowly...there will be a very pivotal moment when he remembers everything (its the climax of the story) and trust me it will be epic!**

 *****Thank you readers for your faithful support and reviews! :) Hope you have a great weekend! More M ratings to come...I promise...;)**


	11. Breathe Again

_"All those words came undone. And now I'm not the only one. Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns. All I have, all I need. He's the air I would kill to breathe. Holds my love in his hands. Still I'm searching for something. Out of breath I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again." ~Breathe Again, Sara Bareilles_

 **Ch. 11**

Elena's insides churned as Damon accelerated once again. She knew he was excited to go to New York but how fast did he need to get there? They'd been the car for two hours and already things had gotten pretty quiet between them. Elena leaned forward to turn the music back on to steady her nerves. If he was going to drive like a bat of hell it certainly gave her the right to pick the music. Landing on a familiar oldies channel Elena kept it there and leaned back in her seat. She glanced over at her road trip companion only to see a smirk cross across his face.

"Don't Stop Believing?" he said as Journey belted out the familiar tune.

"What?" Elea asked feigning innocence.

"This has got to be the most over played song of the eighties."

"True, but you've got to admit it is rather catchy." She countered smiling at him. It was the first time in fifteen miles that she'd gotten a reaction out of him and it was thrilling. She had worried that they wouldn't have enough in common to talk about. The past few hundred minutes had told her as much. But now she had a reason. It was a little girlie for her to hope, but she had wished deep down that this could be their open opportunity to get to know one another, and spark some more memories. She knew she'd already gotten some today, but she couldn't help being greedy. She wanted her Damon back, whole and safe before their bundle of joy arrived.

"I"ll give you that. What other music do you listen to? I mean aside from this?"

"Well, honestly I listen to a lot of different genres. I'm pretty eclectic when it comes to music. As long as I love the lyrics and the beats not to bad I'll probably listen to it." She said with a smile.

"That seems like me too." He added as he reached down and swept up her hand in his. When their fingers intertwined Elena let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She found she was so happy to have his hand in hers it was oddly comforting.

"Ok, so you like all types of music. Ever been to a real rock concert?" she asked, her breath catching as his thumb traced over hers. Tingles shot up and down her arms and she tried to focus on his response.

"Well, I have been known to party with the best. For example I do happen to have a soft spot for Taylor Swift." He said, his cocky smirk back.

Elena laughed, not expecting his answer. She loved this, she felt free with him.

"Ok lets pretend that answer is real." She said as she placed his hand back on the wheel.

"What?" he asked wondering, why was she letting his hand go? She kissed his cheek and leaned her head on his shoulder, reassuring him she just wanted to be closer to him. Feeling his body align with hers gave her a comfort she didn't know existed until him. It was as if all her cells sighed in gratification to the feeling of him beside her. It was very soothing.

"Mmm," He purred as she placed her hand on his thigh. "If you keep doing that I'm going to have to pull this car over."

Elena looked up at him abruptly. "What? Why?"

"Because its illegal to have sex in a moving vehicle." He said simply. She was suddenly aware of her affect on him as she looked down to his raging hard on beneath his tight jeans.

"Hmm….this does present a problem. But I still don't know why or how this could have happened. I mean all we were doing was talking about Taylor Swift….Oh." she said as she blushed, "I guess you weren't kidding about having a soft spot for her."

"What? No!" he protested as she pulled away giggling. She loved playing with him. He was so easy to tease, and she admitted she kind of liked the fact that she got under his skin.

"Elena…you know why." He said glancing at her with his piercing blue eyes. His look seemed to stop all the giddiness in her body and replace it with something else. It was a hunger, a passion she had just barely begun to recognize. Nodding she sat back and said, "I know Damon, but there has to be more between us than just sex. I mean there is isn't there?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his foot letting off the gas ever so slightly so that they were going the speed limit for once.

"I'm talking about the fact that almost every time I get close to knowing you we end up having sex."

"I don't think that's fair." He said, his grip tightening on the wheel. "I mean I don't recall you ever stopping me before."

"That's because I love you Damon, and I love being with you in that way. Its just…" she said her voice tapering off as she looked down at her lap.

"Its just that what?"

"I guess I'm still hoping that if I do, in some cosmic way it will bring you back to me."

Damon got very quiet after that comment, and almost instantly pulled off the side of the road. Cars passed by them, as Elena read a sign up ahead that said New York was 100 miles away.

"Damon? What's wrong? Why are we stopping?"

"Because I need you to know something." He said, tension filling the car with every breath he took. "I can't be what you want me to be. I know I was a different person before this,"

"Yes." She agreed, feeling hope lining her heart.

"But I'm not that person right now. You need to accept that he might never come back to you."

He said cutting into her heart with every word he said. She knew deep down that this was true, and although she'd thought it before this moment, him declaring it made it ten times worse.

"I know."

"Then why do you keep holding on to the past? Why can't we just enjoy our time together?"

"Because I don't know what you expect of me. You're so obscure. I mean today you just woke up and decided to go to New York."

"Yeah, but you're coming with me."

"Only because I thought you understood that I was willing to do everything I could to show you how much I love you. I don't think you realize how much of a sacrifice it is for me to be here right now."

"Then enlighten me Elena. What have you sacrificed for me?"

"I lost a child Damon. Our child. And I know that might not mean much to you right now, but it should. I am holding on for dear life to this one inside of me. Can you honestly tell me you don't understand the fact that this is a delicate pregnancy?"

"I…" he started to say but she shushed him, putting her hand up.

"I also left my brother in the care of my absent biological father, who up until a few months ago I didn't think existed." She said, emotions rising as her heart pumped rapidly in her chest.

"Then why even risk it? Why even come?"

"Because I love you Damon. Because I chose you and I stand by my choice. If this is important to you, then it's important to me, but I need you to be honest with me."

"Ok." He said, his hands unclenching from the wheel as he released a long breath.

"I need to know why we have to go to New York."  
"Look, I think it will make a lot more sense to you once we're there."

"Why? Why the secrecy? Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because it's complicated. I'm not even really sure if my old place is still there."

"And if its not?" she asked, an eyebrow lifting in accusation.

"Then we'll find somewhere else to stay."

"Damon, you can't possibly be serious."

"I am."

"You aren't this person anymore. You've grown so much since this happened."

"How so Elena? I mean aside from the fact that I've been shacking up with you, what is my role in Mystic Falls other than the local drunk?"

"Local drunk? Damon, be serious. I would never think of you like that."

"Why? Because its true?"

"No, because I have no idea why you would label yourself like that. You're a community leader. You help Alaric run the grill part time, and you've mentored my brother Jeremy a lot this year. On top of that you still make time for your passions like photography. I've never known you to waste a single day of your life." She explained. She noticed his jaw drop considerably as she described his status in Mystic Falls. He was in utter disbelief and she thought for just a second that she might have gotten through to him.

"Damon?" she asked, and reached out to touch his shoulder. She practically felt him flinch under her hands.

"This was a mistake." He said simply. It was the first time she'd seen him in utter defeat.

"What do you mean?"

"This trip, and you being with me. What is this?"

"I…"

"Because I can honestly say Elena, that you couldn't possibly know me at all. Not who I am now. Trust me, I'm no good for you. I wish I knew that this entire time that I've been falling for you has been real."

"Damon, it is real. I know what you're about to do please don't do this to me." She said, her heart racing, and her chest constricting in fear. He was about to break her heart on the road to nowhere.

"I don't want to do this Elena. I'm not the good guy remember? I'm the selfish one. I take what I wan I do what I want. I lie to my brother and apparently fall in love with his girl. I don't do the right thing! But I have to do the right thing _by you_."

"Why?"

"What?" he asked, dropping his hands and turning to face her in his stalled Camero. Their eyes met, and she could see a sheen of tears filling his eyes. He didn't think he deserved this, and she knew it, and she was about to call him on it.

"Why do you have to do right by me? What makes you think any of this is what I wanted? I want to know you Damon. I want to love you, even after this is all over."

"Elena…"

"Just let me in, just once. If we get to New York and you don't want me I'll walk away. But if you walk away its for you because I know what I want. I want you. I love you Damon Salvatore, and I'm never leaving you again."

And with that she leaned across the seat and touched her lips to his. It was a soft caress; a promise to him that she was making to never leave, and she hoped deep down inside that it would be enough.

* * *

Over two hours later Damon found himself pulling in front of a large apartment building on the upper east side of Manhattan. The roads were quiet tonight, and for the first time he thought of New York as peaceful. Sure there was always the hum of traffic on fifth avenue and the occasional bystander, but it was home. At least it had been to him for sometime. After NYU he'd come here, even his mother had appreciated his new place when he acquired it. She said it made him look like the entrepreneur he was, and he loved the sound of that.

Having the city and world at his feet held so many possibilities, and he was anxious to get started again. Parallel parking, he stopped the car and said in a sigh, "Home sweet home."

Elena's face looked impressed. He was aware from their road trip that she had never been to New York before, but he did know she was willing to give it a try. He was relieved and nervous at the same time to have her with him. After almost breaking her heart on the roadside, he had decided to give things another chance. Things were getting a little too serious anyways, and they needed to lighten up. Getting out of the car, Damon unlocked the trunk and pulled out his bag.

"I'll come back for the rest," he assured her as she gave him a look of confusion for not getting her things. He wasn't about to unload if he couldn't even get his front door open. Walking up to the main entrance he was happy to see that his regular doorman was still inside. Greeting the old man he was assured that his place was still upstairs. Smiling he grabbed Elena by the waist and led her to the elevator doors. He almost laughed looking at her gawking eyes. He knew she must have been amazed at his ability to keep up a place like this. He'd only had the apartment for a year before he apparently went to Mystic Falls and he was excited to see it again. Getting inside the elevator he pressed the button for level 4 and breathed. The electric current filling his veins was from non other than the brunette bombshell standing beside him. He suddenly realized how long he'd wanted her all day and was determined to seize the moment.

"Elena," he said, his voice filling the intimate space with his husky primal tone.

Turning to her he noticed she must have felt it too, because she was licking her lips in anticipation. Pushing her against the elevator wall he claimed her lips with his own. A sense of longing and urgency filled the air as their bodies collided against the cool wood of the elevator. He suddenly wanted to be inside of her, to feel her warm wet walls tight around his length. Images of her astride his hips as he thrusted ran rampant through his mind. He was about to act on his fantasy when the doors opened with a ding interrupting their heated embrace.

"Damn," Damon said both out of irritation and appreciation, his eyes filling with the desire they both craved.

"We better get going," she breathed as she walked out of the elevator and with him following closely behind her. Damn he loved the way she walked away, leaving him always wanting more.

"Which one is yours?" she asked, her curiosity peaked.

Motioning towards the one by the end of the hallway she followed him. The door number said 405, and Damon lifted his hand to retrieve a hid-a-key from the top of the door. Grinning he put the key into the lock and turned it.

"Ms. Gilbert, welcome to New York." He said while he opening the door.

Elena gasped.

Damon assumed it was out of awe until he noticed the spectacle before them. Because right there on his two-thousand dollar couch was his ex-friend and handler Klaus Michaelson, and he was not alone. Apparently he'd been entertaining company in his apartment while he'd been gone, and looked to be in the middle of ravishing a beautiful blonde at the moment.

"Elena don't look." Damon said as he pushed her behind him and yelled, "Klaus, what the hell?"

Stopping his ministrations the eldest Michelson brother grinned and pushed the blonde off his lap. She fell to the floor with a thump and he sighed as he stood up and pulled on his jeans. They had been around his ankles when Damon had entered.

"Damon fucking Salvatore, back from the dead." He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"The one and only. Now get the hell out of my house."

 **************AUTHORS NOTE**********************

 **There you have it folks, the first encounter of Klaus. I hope you enjoyed the vampire diaries references. ;)**

 **No infringement intended from TVD or its writers.**

 **Thank you all for reading! Please review!**


	12. Somewhere Only We Know

" _Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of? Oh simple thing where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you're gonna let me in. I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. And if you have a minute why don't we go. Talk about it somewhere only we know. This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"~Somewhere Only We Know, Keane_

 _ **Ch. 12**_

It took about a minute for Damon to throw out the trash, aka the blonde bimbo that Klaus had been screwing, and tell Elena to make herself at home in his bed room while he dealt with the current dilemma: getting Klaus out of his apartment. When he'd entered into his old condo all he could think about was the image that was now forever burned into his cranium. The graphic scene before him was more like a porno than a lover's embrace, so it was easier to dismiss the young lady before things got more awkward than they already were. He allowed Klaus to don on a new shirt while he went to the kitchen area to scrounge up some alcohol. It wasn't hard to find seeing as his kitchen island now resembled something of a mini bar.

"Come on mate, you aren't still pissed about that damn wench are you?" Klaus slurred as Damon poured himself a class of Jack.

"Nope, but I do know that if you don't pack up your shit and leave we're gonna have problems."

"Problems? But you lent me the place Damon. Don't you remember mate?"

"Well that's the problem, mate. I don't remember the last six months of my life."

"You don't? Why the bloody not?"

"Because I apparently got dropped into a coma. Why do you suddenly care?"

"I wouldn't say I care as much as I'm confused. Looks to me like you're doing quite well. At least your pregnant girlfriend would suggest it. Although I didn't realize you were still banging Katherine. Thought I took care of that didn't I?"

"She's not Katherine."

"Excuse me?" Klaus asked approaching the stools at the other end of the island bar in the kitchen to sit. Damon knew he was about to spill his guts, and somehow he wasn't too thrilled about repeating his current situation to his almost ex-friend.

"She's her twin sister." Damon drawled out gulping down the amber liquid and wincing. It had apparently been awhile since he'd taken a real drink. The substance burned even more so than normal down his throat.

"Twins eh? We could have some fun with that."  
"Klaus don't go getting any ideas. She's important."

"Really? Does this mean the Damon Salvatore has finally found a young lady to settle down with? Well my condolences. I did hope you would've lasted a bit longer."

"Cut the crap Klaus, we both know that I'm getting sick of this scene."

"Ah but you forget, we've had this conversation before. When you left for New York you were so hard pressed to redeem yourself. Don't you know?"

"I guess some things are still a bit fuzzy. Look there's a lot going on here. I know I probably left you the place to stay, but you still have your apartment down the hall right?"

"Well sure, I keep it there for emergencies, like my wife catching me in the act you know. Although that hasn't seemed to be a problem lately since she left me a month or so ago. I mean if you want we could both have a little rebound together right now with the little piece you brought in. I'm sure she'd like to be introduced to New York the ol'fashioned way."  
"Right, just like I'd like to introduce you to my fist the ol'fashioned way." Damon said as he cornered around the island to grab Klaus around the collar of his navy blue shirt.

"So you get your shit, and you leave. Understand?"

"Right. I'll just be leaving. No point in keeping your friend around who's carried your deepest secrets since you left."

"What do you know about my secrets?" Damon asked, his hand unclenching from around Klaus' shirt.

"I know what happened to your Mommy dearest, but just between you and me I think we could make an exception for dear old dad eh? Make it look like an accident you know we could." Klaus said, the offer was tempting and definitely one Damon had already thought up himself. He just needed to pin down his fathers' whereabouts. Once he had that he could set up to plot for his sweet revenge.

"Klaus, when I need you, I'll give you a call ok?"

"Deal. I'll just leave you and your little ladylove alone for the meantime. Don't be too loud though. This new tenant is a bitch. Night!" Klaus yelled back at him as he sauntered off towards the door.

"Pleased to see you've toned him down love. Give my sis your best." He said to a startled looking Elena from the bedroom, and exited out the front door.

After the awful man had disappeared behind the door Elena had stood frozen in place beside the bedroom doorway. Her brown eyes fixated on Damon as his eyes shifted between her and the ground.

"How long have you been standing there?" Damon ground out, his voice tightening along with every muscle in his body. If she knew what he wanted to do, God help him he didn't think he could keep her here.

"Enough to know that I'm not the only reason you came back to New York."

"Elena I can explain…" he said his voice drifting off as she lifted her hand to silence him. She came towards him, her blue shirt hugging her curves, and soothing his racing heart. He knew he should be terrified, knew he should somehow tell her why she hadn't been enough but his words failed him.

"I know whatever lies you believe and hidden secrets you have we can work through together, but I can't do anything to help you unless you let me try. If we are going to make things work between us, you've got to let me inside even though it hurts."

"I can't Elena. I'll lose you."

"You can't know that! And what about me? Don't I get any say in this?"

"You want a say in this?" Damon asked, his arms crossing in front of his chest. Elena walked towards him and placed her hand on his face.

"Yes I would. Because believe it or not Damon, I'd like to think of us as friends. I'd like to think that somewhere along the way you could learn to trust me."

Damon practically laughed at her bluntness. After all they were in his sham of a penthouse apartment in upstate New York, his feet smashing old takeout napkins and she was telling him to trust her.

"I won't let you know this side of me."

"Why? Because you think I can't handle it?"  
"I know you can't." he said simply as tears welled in her eyes.

"Fine." She said, and turned towards the door.

He was expecting it to happen. For her to leave, for her to walk out the door and never want to be near him again, but he didn't expect the pain that cut through his chest. The weight of it pressing against his heart was too much, too crushing to bear, and he suddenly found himself reaching out to grab her arm, and stop her from leaving.

"Don't"

"Why?" she asked, anger emanating from every pore in her body. "I've already given up everything for you Damon Salvatore, my life, my family, my ability to breathe. I love you and I'm willing to see us through, but if you aren't. If you can't even trust me with what's going on inside you then I don't see the point of what we're doing here anymore. Do you?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"I know. I just…don't go." He said, pulling her towards him.

"God, you are so bipolar." She said rolling her eyes as he held her in his arms.

"I know." He said feeling her body against his he breathed her in. Her arms wove around his abdomen and he felt the reassuring sense that he was home. That Elena was his home.

Within the next few hours Damon had retrieved Elena's bags, and they had successfully cleaned up the apartment to where it was somewhat livable. Elena laughed at the amount of alcohol and ladies underwear she had found at various places in Damon's apartment. Klaus had been having a field day pretending to be living it up in style, and Elena could see why. The penthouse was remarkable. Damon had so many spare rooms that she wondered how he was affording the place. Walking into the apartment all she had seen was a lavish kitchen, a grand piano adorning the view of the empire state building through Plexiglas windows surrounding the apartment. Damon's taste she found was also very modern and chic. His sense of warmth from the boarding house didn't seem to resonate here. Here she could see him being a big time photographer, shooting for time magazine or even the New York Times.

Finishing dusting the nightstand in his bedroom Elena walked across to look out over the roar of the sleeping city. She could hear Damon still washing dishes and cooking dinner in the background and for a moment she allowed herself to dream. She began to picture her life here like this with their new family, and the idea seemed oddly exciting, but unreachable at the same time.

After all, he wasn't the Damon she'd come to adore and love. This was a new side to him, one that wasn't always willing to let her in. She'd also been weary when she'd overheard Klaus mentioning his mother and father. She knew there was something there that Damon hadn't told her, but she was willing to hear him out. That was if he ever felt the need to confide in her. She was oddly annoyed by that fact, but she was determined to change that. Going over to her duffle bag she pulled out her secret weapon and put it on. It was a long black satin lace gown curtsey of Victoria Secret and their lovely line Satin Indulgences. She'd wickedly purchased it awhile back, hoping to surprise him, but then everything had gotten out of control. She'd almost lost him, and had never given the garment a second thought. Perhaps tonight things would be different if he let his walls down. Unfortunately the only way Elena could think to do that was by using her body as a peace offering. She hoped it would be enough.

Creeping back towards the kitchen Elena was pleased to find Damon busily washing a saucepan in the sink. He'd turned on his iPhone to listen to some classical tunes while they cleaned, and Elena suddenly felt drawn to him. Here he seemed to carefree and at ease, and she wanted to take advantage of him right there on the kitchen floor.

Walking up behind him she placed her hands on his hard chest and breathed him in. He smelt clean and a lot like his cologne. God she didn't even know the name of it but she was suddenly reminded of her pregnancy urges as her womb contracted just remembering the feeling of him inside her.

She smiled, wondering if he would remember the last time they had gotten caught up in the suds. Standing on her tiptoes she nibbled on his left earlobe causing him to drop the pan into the sink.

"Damon," she said, her voice husky with desire.

"Elena…" he breathed as music and steam surrounded them. Reaching across his body she turned off the faucet and purred into his ear. "Time for bed."

Damon turned around in wonder to find her standing before him in her satin lace nightgown that left little to his imagination. Elena knew it was wicked of her to tempt him, but if it was the only way she got him to talk, she was willing to try.

"Why Elena…are you trying to seduce me?" he asked playfully while licking his lips at her provocative appearance.

"The thought did cross my mind." She said as she traced her fingertips around her satin curves.

"You don't play fair." He countered.

"Neither do you."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said, and in one fluid movement lifted her up onto the kitchen island behind her, his lips connecting to her own in a gasp of hunger. Moans escaped her lips at the feeling of his body in-between her thighs. His strong arms held her against him and the more wanton part of her longed for him to devour her.

"Ah…Damon…we…we still need to talk." She said breathlessly as his lips moved from her lips to claim a spot on her neck that was particularly sensitive; his lips working a spot that had a peculiar effect to her tightening walls below.

"Mmmm I'm listening." He said, his hands lifting to cup her breasts under his large muscular hands. Elena knew she was done for. This smug obsession she'd had to clear his mind was pointless, because she'd forgotten how much power he held over her body. It was as if she was gasoline and he was a lighted match. When they came together it was explosive, and destructive to everyone in their path. Suddenly she could care less about his ulterior motives to get her to this spot, all she knew was she need him. Needing him so badly that her body was already taking over her urges for her, moving her hips towards his and searching for the friction she so desperately needed.

"Shh…baby, I know what you need. Trust me I'm going to take care of you." He whispered, causing her to whimper with desire as he lifted her legs and commanded her, "lock your legs around me."

She did as she was asked, and a moment later found herself being carried halfway across the apartment to the bed she had just made for them. While he carried her she lost herself in admiring the contours of his lips and his strong jawline, peppering her kisses wherever she could. A low guttural moan escaped his lips when she found a particularly sensitive spot at the nape of his neck. She smiled as he reached the bed and laid her down before meeting her. The soft black and red comforter sheet set felt smooth against her skin as Damon leaned back to skim off her lingerie. Feeling exposed Elena knew she should have shied away from her nakedness but when she saw the admiration in his eyes she decided to lay there in awe of him. She knew it must have been sinful to love the look of love he was giving her, but she couldn't help herself, she loved his need for her, loved that he was as consumed by her as she was of him.

"So beautiful." He breathed as he lowered his body onto hers and kissed her lips. His kiss lingering he drifted down her body kissing her smooth skin and leaving playful tugs at the peaks of her nipples. He took extra care to rub and feel her curves as he did so, leaving her wanton and ready.

"Damon…" she pleaded underneath him. She needed him, but he was taking his own sweet time cherishing her. Licking his lips he finally found the spot between her thighs that he most wanted to taste. Dipping his tongue between her folds, Elena cried out in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of his hair, anchoring him to her. She loved the feeling that he gave her, lapping up her wetness as if his life depended on it. He was relentless, wanting to bring her to her release and rubbed on her clit with his tongue while his fingers pushing in and out of her wet welcoming walls.

"That's it Elena…say my name baby." He breathed as she let go. Starbursts exploded behind her eyes, and she came crashing back to earth only to find him naked above her. How he'd undressed she didn't know, and she found she didn't care. She wanted him, and needed him. Nothing was more important to her than them at this moment.

"Damon, make love to me." She breathed, and sighed as he responded by entering her. Pressing into her deeper and deeper she climbed together with him to the edge of ecstasy, their limbs shifting positions from her back to her side, and then to her knees. Each time they did she felt him hit a spot within her that made her come undone. Her cries were becoming uncontrollable as they came falling from her lips, begging him for more as she felt herself let go one final time before he released himself inside of her.

"Damon!" she screamed as her body collapsed beneath him. His manhood becoming softer as he withdrew from her and they both sank down upon the bed.

"Damn." Was all Damon could say as he breathed heavily next to her, their hands touching beside each other. "How do you do that?" he asked breathlessly.

"Do what?"

"Undo me like you do? No one has ever had that effect on me."

"Its the hormones." She said simply trying to make him laugh. She smiled when he did.

"No, its just you Elena. All of you, you're like coming home." And with that he turned on his side towards her and bent to kiss her once more. His lips were tender on hers, and for a moment she felt at peace.

"I love you Damon." She said simply, but just as she did she saw the clouds return to his eyes. The fear that she'd seen before began to drift through and suddenly he seemed out of her reach.

"Come back to me." She breathed, grabbing his face in her hands, begging that part of him to find his way back to her.

"Elena…you can't…you ask too much." He said, sitting up and grabbing the sheet to lift it over their bodies.

"I know."

"There's just so much I have to tell you. So much I want to know."

"Then ask me Damon. I'm here, what do you need?"

He breathed in and sat up looking at her he took a moment to form his words, and for a minute Elena was afraid he wouldn't say anything; that they would spend the rest of their lives this way, being together and yet so far apart.

"I need to know who I was, because if I don't know the me now, how am I supposed to make any choices for myself?"

"I understand."

"So before I tell you anything I need to know about me. I need to know who I was, and more importantly the man you fell in love with. Because I have no idea who that man is, and right now to tell you the truth I don't know if I can be him."

"You already are him Damon, you just forgot."

She said sitting up to hold her hand in his once more. Lifting his hand to her fingers she kissed his knuckles and heard him sigh in appreciation.

"Once upon a time…" Elena began as Damon chuckled next to her.

"Come on Elena be serious," he said, beseeching her to be sincere.

"I am. There was a girl, and this girl was as lost as a person could be. She felt angry with God and the world because she'd lost the two most important people in her life. Her parents. That was until one summer night she opened her door in her pajamas and everything changed because she met a man who turned her world upside down. Damon, you've always turned my world upside down, but now I'm realizing you have always been showing me its been right side up. You don't need to feel like you have to protect me, because I'm drowning in grief, and then you saved me. You showed me the good part of my life. The promise that love could be eternal, and I had that with you."

"I don't know what to say to that Elena. I.."

"I know you feel like you can't say it back, and I don't want you to. I don't want you to tell me you love me unless you mean it."

"Then what do you want from me Elena?"

"I want you to trust me Damon, like I trust you."

"Honestly Elena its not that I don't want to. But you tell me that and it terrifies me, because I'm just afraid that I've already made the choices I'm about to make." He admitted softly. Elena turned to him at that so that they were both on their sides, their limbs connecting them together.

"Hey, there are things you can't erase and you know that. You can't."

"I know but I don't even know where to start."

"Then ask those who know you." Elena said matter of factly.

"You know me." Damon said hopefully.

"Yes, but I mean from here. Look at your emails. Read your old texts. I mean I'm always here for you but maybe I'm not the right person to remind you of who you were. Technically I've only known you for a few months. You need to know about the span of three years."

"I know, but maybe if you just tell me what you know I'll help me fill in some blanks."

"Ok, well I don't know how you were re-wired but lets just start with the basics. You live in Mystic Falls now. You live in the boarding house; I believe you inherited from your mother after she died. Stefan goes to Whitmore so you only ever see him during the summer or on holidays. I know you work at the Grill. That's sort of how we met, you were getting on to my brother Jeremy for missing shifts."

"Ah yes little Gilbert. I could see how I could get mad at him."

"Yup, it happens all the time."

"What else?" Damon asked his interest piqued.

"Well…you pretty much run things at the Grill while Alaric isn't there."

"Wait Alaric Saltzman?" Damon asked, a smile crossing his face.

"Yeah, you two go way back don't you?" Elena asked awkwardly, she knew she needed to explain how her newbie father fit into his life, but she wasn't expecting the reaction she'd gotten from him.

"Wow…Alaric. I haven't spoken to him in…well…not since…" his voice drifted off and his face became serious.

"You say we're on good terms now?"

"Yeah, and there's one more thing you probably should know…" she said her voice cracking.

"Yeah?"

"He's also my biological father."

"He's you're what?" Damon asked, his face going pale as he took in her meaning.

"He's my dad."

"Well then…that's one to tell the grandkids."

"What?" Elena asked confused, she had no idea why he would be so embarrassed.

"Well seeing as I've slept with both of his daughters now, I'm sure he's gonna love me so much more."

"Trust me, he's dealing with it as best he can." She assured him, while attempting to stifle her laughter.

"I'm just glad I still have both of my legs and my favorite appendage still works." He said.

"Me too." Elena grinned as Damon grabbed her in his arms and she squealed beneath him. She was enjoying this side of him, the playful carefree side, but how long would it last? How long did she really have before the darkness inside of him won? She ignored the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach as he crushed his lips to hers once more signaling the ending of their conversation. She sighed, trying to tell herself that this would work, that they would make things right.

"Damon, you can't keep doing that." Elena said, pulling away from him and scolding him for pouncing on her.

"Doing what?"

"You know what. I can't think when you do that."

"Technically I can't think either that's the point." He said wagging his eyebrows.

"Damon, I thought you wanted to talk." She said rolling her eyes at him.

"I do, it's just that things were getting a little too serious for me."

"Hey I'm just the messenger here." She said as she looked at him.

"I know Id just like you to spend a little more time getting to know who I am now, or was…." he said, his face putting on a charming smile, but she knew underneath how venerable he really must be. "Can you do that for me Elena?"

"Of course." She said, and kissed him again. She could do this for as long as it took him to understand that she wasn't going to leave. Little did she know that the man above her wasn't simply kissing her, he was healing and beginning to hope again for the first time in a very long time.

 **AUTHOR NOTE**

 ***YAY for open hearts and minds.-new updated chapter ;)**

 **Wow that was a very long chapter! I hope it made up for the wait. Sorry guys...I'm a teacher and writing and grading papers doesn't always mix well...hahaha.**

 **Anyways I hope you liked the bonding between Damon and Elena. I'm attempting to give them a moment to fall in love before the sh*** hits the fan.**

 **Love you all! Happy reading/reviewing!**


	13. Breaking Your Own Heart

_"You're breaking your own heart." ~Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson_

 _ **Ch. 13**_

 ** _One Week Later…._**

Elena woke up again to an empty bedroom. She tried to hide the fact that her mind instantly jumped to the worst: that Damon had left her.

Although she knew…something told her deep down that this bliss they'd deluded themselves with was bound to come to an end sooner or later. She'd felt him growing closer to the truth of who he was every moment he was with her but for some reason he didn't want to embrace it. The sheer fact that she'd been here in New York for a week was enough to drive her insane. He'd taken her around the city, shown her his favorite places, and of course his people. She didn't know what to make of Klaus Michelson. Just his presence sent warning signs through her mind. Not to mention every time he saw her he brought up Katherine and the fact that she was "knocked up." She decided that some people never really did grow up.

Aside from that fact the time she'd spent with Damon had grown strained. It seemed that the closer she got to him the more he withdrew. Like now for example.

She sat up naked in bed, a sheet covering her breasts as she reached for her phone on the nightstand.

Letting out a sigh of relief she noticed a text from Damon. He was out getting breakfast for them and would be back soon. Rolling off the bed she donned on a night robe and walked to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror she ran her fingers through her bedhead and attempted to take in her swollen frame. Her body was beginning to make the changes that were normal to a pregnant woman, and she was becoming more aware of the fact. Rolling her hands over her belly she could practically feel the heartbeat of their little unborn baby. Her heart was so full of emotions that soon she found herself crying. The idea that she could bring this baby into her world without a father who knew why he loved her was absurd.

She knew he wanted her, and desired her. Although lately she even wondered if that was true at all anymore. He'd been growing distant from her, making excuses not to be intimate. It was enough to raise suspicions on her end.

What if there was someone else? Someone here in New York?

Hearing her cell phone ring cleared her thoughts. She lifted it off the counter and saw her brother's number. She decided since she'd been avoiding him lately she should answer it.

"Hey Jer."

"Elena?" Alaric's voice said causing Elena to look again at her phone.

"Alaric? Why are you calling me from Jeremy's phone?"

"He lent it to me."

"Ok…"

"I wasn't sure if you'd pick up if you knew I was calling." Alaric admitted, his voice seemed strained and Elena could tell he was getting emotional. She really didn't want to do this now, but she figured she might as well. It wasn't like they didn't have anything to talk about.

"Ok what's up…dad?" she said forcefully.

Alaric chuckled on the other end, "Well Jeremy just spilled the beans about where you disappeared to. I was wondering how things have been going?"

"Oh you know…things are ok I guess." Elena lied, she didn't want to admit to the fallout that was beginning to happen. She'd done everything she could think of to keep Damon interested but it just didn't seem to be enough.

"Elena, you can tell me. I know he was having a rough time the last time he was there. I mean there were reasons he left, and he hasn't reached out to me yet… So I really want to know how you are."

"Honestly…I just don't know what he sees in being here."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He just keeps showing me around, and hanging out with this loser guy Klaus."

"Wait. Klaus Michelson?"

"You know him?"

She heard a deep breath from the other end of the phone. Sensing something was wrong Elena decided to ask,

"Rick…why what's the matter? Did you know him?"

"Oh yeah I knew him. Elena under no circumstances are you to let that man be with you alone do you understand me?"

"I got it." She said meaning it. The guy was a complete slime.

"I can't believe Damon would still be hanging around him. He was one of the reasons he left you know?"

"No kidding?" Elena said sarcastically. She could totally tell. Not to mention Damon hadn't exactly thrown out the welcome mat for him either. The guy just couldn't take a hint.

"Good. Now I know you're a big girl and you can handle yourself but if you ever need me. I just want you to know I'm here. I'll drop everything and come get you just say the word."

"I know, and I appreciate that." She said, and then said her goodbyes. She knew that Alaric was mostly being a protective father but she had begun to have her suspicions about Damon's motives to be in New York. He'd told her she'd understand once they'd gotten there but nothing seemed to have happened since. To tell the truth it was really starting to unnerve her. She'd assumed it had to do with her being his muse but he hadn't even picked up a camera since they'd been here, unless you counted taking pictures in central park. Which she didn't. not compared to the ones she'd seen. Shaking her head she dismissed the dark thoughts and decided to take a shower to clear her mind. After all she didn't know how long Damon would be, and after talking with Alaric, she had a lot to process.

* * *

Damon entered the apartment a moment later with his coffee, a decaf tea for Elena and two freshly baked bagels. He'd sensed things from her end were growing strained. She didn't look at him anymore the way she used to, and he knew he was loosing her. To be truthful he'd let it happen. It was a bitch trying to live up to anyone's expectations, especially when he was competing with himself.

Laying the bagels on the island he heard the shower turn on and smiled. He knew an opportunity when he heard one, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd let Elena bring his walls down. His urges for her were beginning to be impossible to fend off. He almost forgot why he'd started to in the first place until he recalled a conversation they'd had after coming to New York that stopped him cold.

"Elena…why are you still here?" he'd asked her. They'd just finished making love and her eyes were fluttering closed. He remembered thinking she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Because I know you Damon…you'll come back to me." She said simply before returning to sleep.

And that was the moment when he realized it. She still didn't love him, she still loved who he used to be. The simple fact that he felt he wasn't enough had been enough to have him withdraw from her. He could tell she knew, but she never asked him about it. He'd tried to make it work, walking her around New York, and taking her to all the sights local tourists would enjoy but he never opened up to her. He didn't want to, because he knew he didn't deserve her. Now he just had to find a way to let her go.

Opening the door to their bedroom he walked inside and slid into the bathroom. He watched as she cleansed her body through the clear doors of the shower. It was erotic and instantly arousing to see her like this, but he knew he couldn't take advantage of her. She needed more than just his body, she needed his heart, and right now he wasn't sure he could give that to her.

In fact he knew he couldn't.

Knocking on the door he let her know he was there and said, "Hey, breakfast is here."

"Thanks." She said simply. He was almost disappointed that she didn't ask him to join her.

"Elena?" he asked coming towards the shower. He knew he shouldn't but apparently he was done thinking with the top of his head now.

"Yeah?" she asked, and opened the door, her breasts in full view now. He watched as the water cascaded over her and lost his control. He wanted her, he needed to have her now or die of it.

Without warning he threw off his shirt and strode into the shower, his pants and shoes still on his feet. Elena gasped at the intrusion but was silenced as his lips came down over hers, crushing them with a soft tenderness. The contact of her skin against his sent shivers down his spine. He could never understand how her body sang to his like it did. It was a siren's calling a haunting sound that grounded him and kept him with her. Pushing them both under the water Damon trapped her body against the shower wall, desperate to taste every inch of her, but Elena was not having it.

"Damon!" she practically yelled as his mouth found the curve of her neck. At first he thought she was calling out his name in ecstasy until he realized it was out of anger. Her body went rigid beneath his as her arms crossed over her body. It was as if she was telling him no without saying it, and it cut him deeper than he thought it would.

"Elena…I just…" he said desperately.

"No. I can't do this Damon." She said and left him in the shower soaked to the bone.

"Really?" he asked in disbelief as she bent to grab a towel and toss him one as he turned off the shower and closed the door.

"Yeah, you can't just pounce on me in the shower and expect me to be all 'oh Damon take me now.' After a week of you avoiding me." She spat while grabbing her brush and exiting the room. Damon stared after her in disbelief. She'd never told him no, not once that he'd known her and it unnerved him.

Tearing off his wet clothes he wrapped the terry cloth towel around his waist and followed her into the bedroom.

"Elena, we need to talk about this."

"I don't know what there is to talk about." She said sadly, she was pulling on her underwear and clothing and placing her phone in her back pocket. He chose to ignore the fact that she was unfazed by his appearance as he was by her. She always disarmed him, and he knew he'd used their physical relationship as their only connection, but he never knew how much he'd relied upon it until now.

"I need to know why we can't just have some fun." He said coming up behind her. "You know I can make you feel so good Elena…" he purred into her ear. He heard her sigh as she admitted,

"Its not enough anymore. I love you Damon, and you know that." She said turning to him and tears filling her eyes. "But I can't make you love me. I refused to bring this baby into a world where you can't…where you don't remember us. But I guess I'm going to have to."

"You don't mean that." He said calling her bluff.

And then she pulled on her shirt and he watched as she left the room, and followed her. He couldn't do this, he couldn't let her just rip his heart out and leave like Katherine had. Storming out of the room he followed her and grabbed her arm, turning her towards him so she could face him.

"No, you're not doing this to me. Not without an explanation. I'm done with you putting this all on me. I'm done competing against myself. It's a fucking nightmare!"

"Damon…let go of me." she said her eyes full of fear as his arms gripped her harder. He released her and let her speak, his breathing subsiding as he attempted to listen to the words coming out of her mouth.

"If you want me to stay I need more of a reason that you wanting to get into my pants."  
"Oh come on, its not like you don't want me too." Damon said.

"I know but there's a difference Damon because I actually love you. Its not just sex at least not for me."

"I never said that it was." He said his words cutting her to the quick.

"Can't you see? You don't have to Damon."

He practically screamed as she said those words. He knew he was losing it but he suddenly didn't care.

"Fine, you want to know who I am? You want to know why we're here?"

"Yeah. That would be great. I would love to know why you drug me here and why you've been pulling away. What can be so terrible that you can't even tell me?"

"Fine!"

"Fine." She said sighing and sinking into the loveseat sofa while Damon paced across the living room floor.

"I'll tell you," he said leaning over the sofa behind her. " I'll tell you everything. I'm not a good man Elena. I don't know how I ever was. Because to be honest I can't remember a part of my life after my mother passed away where I haven't been in eternal hell. The only things tying me to the earth now are pleasure and revenge. There's nothing else for me anymore. That's why I came here Elena. Not to start a new life with you. You want to know why? Because my father for the first time in my life is finally right where I want him."

"You're father? What? Why would you want revenge on your father?"

"Because my father, he killed my mom Elena. He poisoned her, and made it look like she died from cancer. No one else could figure it out, but I did. So that's why I came back here."

Elena let out the breath she was holding and went to grab her tea off the counter. Taking a long sip she finally sat down and said,

"But don't you see Damon, that's exactly what he wants. He wants you to stoop to his level. He wants you to throw your life away. If you kill him Damon, if you go through with this then he'll win. You'll go to prison and he'll still be haunting you for the rest of your life."

"Its not up to you." Damon said standing he went to walk towards the kitchen.

"But it is Damon. Because I love you, I would never give up on you even if you don't remember that."

Standing up Elena set down her drink and followed him. Once she'd heard his response it had all made sense to her. The reason for being around Klaus. The secrecy, the planning and phone calls he'd received that he didn't want her to hear. It was all for this. To kill his father, the one person who'd stolen away the one thing he could never get back. The sadness gripping her chest chilled her to the bone because she finally understood him. She needed him to know that he didn't have to go through the darkness alone. She'd known it herself. She'd fought it for months after her parents died, and she knew he didn't have to do this.

"You can't defend me anymore Elena. I don't even know why you're still here. I'm bad Elena, I'm bad for you."

"I don't care, I love you Damon. I chose you and I'll stand by that choice as long as you want me."

"Well now I'm choosing Elena, and I'm choosing to let you go."  
"What? No Damon…" she said as the reality of his meaning hit her. He was breaking up with her.

"I'm choosing of not having to think about how you must feel every time a ghost from my past comes into our lives. I'm choosing to relieve you of having to defend me for every awful thing I've ever done or will do."

"Stop it Damon. Stop acting like I'm perfect, I've done horrible things too. You think I'm really going to hold it against you that you'd want to avenge your mothers death?"

"Stop defending me!" he practically yelled, causing the room to get silent once more. Elena's tears fell as he finished adding,

"I won't change who I am. I can't, but I refused to change you." He said and left the room slamming the bedroom door behind him. Leaving an emotional Elena alone, whose heart was breaking once again. Pulling her cell phone out of her pocket she decided to call the one person who could help her.

"Elena?" Alaric's voice said, as she answered, "Hey, I think I'll take you up on that offer now. Can you come get me?" she said tearfully.

"I'm on my way." was all she heard, and then nothing.

 **Please don't hate me! I know we never like the drama or DELENA breakups but this was inevitable. Just keep reading!**

 **Thanks so much to all my wonderful readers for making this story a success! I hope you enjoyed the updates :) Happy Reading!**


	14. Take It All

"So is it over? Is this relief? You've given up so easily. I thought you loved me more than this, but go on go on take it. Take it all with you. Don't look back at this crumbling fool. Just take it all with my love. Take it all with my love." ~Adele, Take It All

 **Ch. 14**

Elena's heart was breaking as reality sunk in. It was over. They were over. Tears welled in her eyes as she fought for control over her emotions. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. Stepping forward she turned the knob on the closed door that Damon had slammed in between them. She found him sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

It was the first time in days she'd seen a reaction out of him that wasn't just physical. Something had gotten to him, and although she wanted to, she stifled the hope that rose in her chest.

Walking to the other side of the room she grabbed her purse and her carryon bag. She'd get Alaric to help her with the rest when he arrived.

"I'm leaving. I'll send someone up to get the rest of my things."

"Ok." He said simply.

Turning to leave she said lowly, "Goodbye Damon." And left the apartment. She knew Alaric wouldn't be there for a few minutes. She'd waited as long as she could but the silence had become too loud for her. She needed space. She was suddenly grateful that Damon lived where he did. Central Park was walking distance away, and she figured the perfect spot to lay low for a while. The city was busy with people walking around her, talking, and was completely oblivious to a shadow following closly behind her. She was a sobbing mess so she found the nearest bench and let the tears fall. In a way breaking up had been a relief, because the relationship was no longer her fault for failing. It was his, and she hoped one day if he did remember them, that he would be the one to come back to her.

Although that simple thought made her cry even harder.

"Awe don't cry love." Came a familiar voice from beside her. She'd been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even realized she had company. Although she could care less for the person beside her that made her hair stand on end.

"What do you want Klaus?" She said bitterly.

"Temper temper, I was simply wanting to let you know I'm here for you."

"Sure."

"Come on, tell Klaus all about it," he said and placed his hand on hers. She flinched when he touched her but she assumed he chose to ignore it as he drew his body closer to hers.

"Don't listen to dreary Damon. He's never known what to do with women. Me on the other hand…I've been known to help them pick up the pieces so to speak."

Elena couldn't believe it he was hitting on her. She was pregnant with his friends child.

"Klaus, I'm not interested." She said boldly pulling her hand away. He really did need to get a clue.

"Oh come on, you don't even know what you're missing out on. I could make you beg for more…all you have to do is say yes."

Elena, feeling very uncomfortable and venerable stood up and started walking the other way. She didn't have time to deal with this, but some guys couldn't get a clue.

"God, I love it that you play hard to get. Its so sexy." Klaus said coming up behind her.

Fed up she turned around and stated,"Look here buddy. You have about three seconds before I turn your favorite appendage into my own personal kicking post."

"Try it and you'll see if you get to keep your foot." Klaus said coldly grabbing her hand as she attempted to slap him. His firm grip held her, and she couldn't pull away.

"Let go of me."

"Not a chance love. I tried to ask nicely but you just don't seem to get it. I always get what I want. So we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either choice, you will be mine." He said as his other hand came up to slide over her cheek. Warning sirens screamed inside her head as she attempted to pull away. Fear gripped her, and for a split second she thought the worst until…

"In your dreams."came a voice from behind them as Elena saw a fist coming out to punch Klaus in the face. Seeing as he wasn't paying attention, he hit him square in the jaw and he crumbled to the concrete pathway with a thud.

"Elena I thought I told you to stay away from that creep."

"Alaric?! How are you here right now?." Elena said as Alaric rubbed his hand.

"I'll explain everything later, right now lets get you home."

He held his arm out but Elena was past formalities, she flung herself into his arms and cried, letting him hug her as she wept.

"Shh honey its going to be ok. Lets just get you out of here." He said and knelt to pick up her abandoned purse and led her to the car. He opened the passenger door for her and she got in pleased to see her baby brother in the front seat beside her.

"Jer?" she asked throwing her arms around him.

"Hey sis."

"What are you doing here?!"

"Well Alaric needed backup in case…well at any rate I wasn't about to let him leave without me for the save Elena mission."

"I'm so glad you're here." She breathed as she rested her head on his shoulder. Laying her purse down on her lap Alaric bent down to tell them something.

"These doors don't open. No one goes out and no one comes in understood?"

"Yes." They chimed together.

"I'm going to get the rest of your things. I'll be right back."

"Wait, you're not going to kill Damon are you?" She said shakily.

"I'll make no promises. I have my phone if you need me, but if that creep comes back call the police ok? I'll be quick."

And then he was gone. Elena locked the doors and waited clinging on to Jeremy for dear life.

Damon was surprised to hear a knock coming from his front door. He sure wasn't expecting company, or anyone for hours.

Opening the door he wished he hadn't.

"Alaric, so you're Elena's ride back home eh?"

"You could say that, but first you've got some explaining to do."

"Oh I have some explaining to do? Since when did you become the man who gives out the greatest advice."

"Wow, you really did go way back didn't you? I know that I've made some mistakes, and we've had some hard times but I thought we were always friends Damon." Alaric said in disbelief and let himself in closing the door behind him.

"Can you just point me to Elena's stuff please?"

"Its right there by the door."

"Hmm…convenient. Nice of you to pack up all her things."

"Well I assumed someone would come for it. I didn't need some stranger going through all my rooms."

"Ah that's right, we wouldn't want anyone to rifle through the wrong things."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Damon asked as Alaric bent to pick up one of Elena's duffel bags and throw it over his shoulder.

"Look, you obviously forgot, but we're friends. This may come as a shock but I would trust you with my life, and I know you would trust me with yours. So do me a favor and leave my daughter out of your life until you can be man enough to have her."

"So now you're treating her like your daughter?" Damon asked, hautily.

"That's right, now move so I can go take care of her. After what your boy toy did I'm surprised she's still standing."

"Boytoy? Who, you mean Kalus? What did he do?" Damon asked, his protectiveness coming out in waves.

"I took care of it, but trust me you don't want that man in your life."

"Why? What difference would it make?"

"Well it made a world of difference to you before, but maybe you should go ahead with that plan of yours. Pay dear old dad a visit. I'm sure you'd be surprised at what you find."

"Just get out I've had enough of your 'advice' for one day."

"You're right don't take my advice. But I do have a right over my family. I mean it Damon, stay away from her. You don't deserve her. Not when you're like this."

Picking up Elena's bags Alaric turned and exited out the door, leaving a confused Damon wondering if he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

 ***********AUTHORS NOTE********************

 **Wow its been a long while. I'm sorry I was having a bout of writers block on this one. I know how I want this story to end, but I was having difficulty with some of the details. Thanks to Adele I had a breakthrough on what to write today. Hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Pieces of Damon's memory are about to click back into place in the next chapter. I just hope its not to late for Elena...**

 **Be good and review! :D**


	15. A Changed Heart

_"I don't know which way I'm going I don't know which way I've come...For you I'd wait till kingdom come. Until my day is done...just say you'll wait for me." Til Kingdom Come, Coldplay_

 **Ch. 15**

Elena wiped her tears away as they neared the town border. She'd been crying most of the way home, while her brother sat next to her in silence. His arm was around her shoulders and she'd pretty much ruined the front of his shirt with her tears, but if he cared he didn't let on. She felt miserable. A part of her felt like a complete and total idiot for having hope in the first place that Damon would remember her.

But the other part of her knew she'd had to try. She would never have let him walk out of her life otherwise. She needed to know that she had done everything she could so that one day when their little one looked at her and asked her why she could say she did everything she could, but he didn't want her.

That thought sliced through her like a knife, and for a moment she contemplated a different scenario. One where her child would have the best chance. A life where both parents loved each other and their child and a chilling thought ripped through her mind.

Sitting up she let Jeremy take a break from holding her.

"Thanks Jer."

"Anytime." He stated as they neared their house.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

She shook her head, and he didn't press her. Something's were just better left unsaid.

* * *

After Alaric left Damon's head filled with a million questions. Although he had no reason to believe anything that man said, a part of him began to wonder. Why hadn't he finished what he started six months ago? Why was his father alive? And if he was so upset with Alaric so much why had he just said they were best friends? That he would trust him with his life?

He was done not having his questions answered. He hated being in the dark, and for some reason almost everyone in his life had been too afraid to tell him the truth. Although he hated to admit it, he knew that there was only one person who wouldn't sugar coat it. He had to make a visit to his father.

Shrugging on his leather jacket he decided to come prepared, and stuffed the 45 rifle from the hallway desk into the back lining of his fitted jeans. If Guiseppe was looking for a fight he would give it to him, if not, well it was always better to come prepared.

An hour later Damon stood outside of Guiseppe Salvatores office. He'd done well for himself that was for sure. His clients had been rewarding him handsomely for his services it seemed. The office was named after him, even the damn place had pens with the name Salvatore Attorney at Law stamped on them. The idea that he was in the position he was in was laughable to Damon. How could a man who killed his wife, still be making a living off of protecting the innocent? Or was it the guilty? Damon suspected the latter; it certainly made the most sense.

He'd been waiting in the office for sometime now. The secretary had told him since he didn't have an appointment that he would have to wait. He'd insisted that he was family, and didn't need to wait, but yet here he sat. His father never did show him any favoritism; it was almost as if he'd wished he'd never been born at all. Something's were just dripping with irony.

"Mr. Salvatore will see you now." The blonde behind the desk announced as she gestured to the oak doors to her right.

"Thank you." He said, standing and turning the knob to enter. The office was cool and covered in layers of dark tones. Although he knew it shouldn't be the place was instantly intimidating. Stepping into the modern and cliché office Damon shut the door behind him and stared at the man he knew to be his father. Light illuminated him as he stood gazing out the window in his office. Damon noted how he seemed much older now, aged with years of strife and guilt.

"Hello Damon, I was wondering how long it would take you to come knocking on my door."  
Damon stepped towards him as anger seethed inside of him. Still blaming him for his mother's death had grown heavy on his heart. He'd never wanted to believe it, but he'd always suspected. She'd been fighting back, but one day everything had changed.

"I came because I have questions I need answered."

"I figured as much. Bourbon?"

"No."

The coldness in Damon's voice reached his fathers ears and he knew this was no ordinary visit.

"What is this about Damon?" Guiseppe asked as she went to sit down on the couch in front of his desk. He motioned for Damon to sit next to him, and reluctantly Damon obliged, sitting next to him on the green leather sofa as he stared into his eyes.

"What answers do you want boy?"

"I want to know about mom, once and for all. I need you to tell me."

"Damon, we've already had this conversation."

"Well I obviously don't remember it."

"I know son, and I know right now you're reliving one of your lost times. I just hope you know the man you have become is one I am proud to call my son."

"How can you say that? How can you sit here without consequences."

"Damon…"

"You killed her." He said standing up to glare at him. He stood and walked towards the window.

"She wanted to live, and you took that away from her."  
"Damon, we've been over this. She asked me to."

"I don't care if she asked you to jump off a cliff. There's no reason."

"She was dying Damon. She knew it and so did I."

"She could have lived."

"No. Not the life she wanted to. She didn't want to be a burden. She wanted to be apart of her families lives, to play with her grand-babies someday. She didn't want to be weak, and bedridden. Her life was never the same after her cancer you have to know that."

"But she was going to be ok she was…" Damon said his words fighting his fathers but he was cut off.

"No. No she wasn't Damon. She knew that and not a day goes by that the decision I made doesn't haunt me. But she wanted those pills. She wanted to die peacefully, not from pain. What I did was a kindness, but most of all what I did was out of love."  
"You expect me to believe that after everything you put us through?"

"I know its hard to understand, but I'm human. I've made mistakes, just like you. My past caught up to me, but I always loved Laura. I never wanted to hurt her in any way. You must know how it feels, to want the best for the one you love."

Instantly Damon thought of Elena.

He couldn't help it, she had become central to every part of his life. Who's to say he wouldn't have done the same for her?

"But…I don't understand. Why would mom not tell me? Why wouldnt she discuss this with Stefan or me?"

"She wanted to, but I wouldn't let her. I wanted her to go in peace. I didn't want her to change her mind because I knew if she saw you or your brother she would have. She would have put herself in pain the rest of her life just to see you live, and it wouldn't have been fair to her."

"Like it was fair to me?" Damon spat,"She died…and I never," his voice broke. He hated that he was crying in front of his father, it was a weakness he'd never let him see. The brokenness that consumed him, but in that moment he couldn't push it down anymore, he couldn't fight it anymore. "I never got to say goodbye, and now you won't either." He said as he pulled he rifle from underneath his jacket.

"Son," Giuseppe warned, as he stood up holding his hand up, motioning for him to stop.

"Don't try to stop me. You took away everything from me."

"Damon…you have to remember… we've done this before. Remember how I begged you to listen, that I loved you. Remember son please."

Damon held out the gun, the hammer was clocked; all he had to do was pull the trigger.

But in that moment he knew.

He remembered.

His mind reeled as images swam across his mind. Moments from the past six months overwhelmed him as he recalled the events his father spoke about. He was right; killing his father wouldn't bring his mother back. Hating him wouldn't keep him from feeling the pain in his chest, and suddenly he knew. He knew what had stopped him before. He knew why he'd changed, it was because his heart had.

"Dad…" he said as he lowered the gun and unarmed it, putting it on safety he placed it back in his jacket behind his back and looked at the terrified man before him. It was odd how much he truly resembled the broken man in front of him. The piercing gaze that held his own was one that was reflected back at him everyday.

"I'm sorry…God I'm so sorry." He said as he fell to his knees, tears came and suddenly he felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Damon, I know you've been having a hard time, and I know I should have been there to help you to remember, but I thought if you followed your memories, that you would remember for yourself, and you have."

Sobs racked Damon's chest as he thought of the past month. Of the crass ways he'd dealt with his life, of the mistakes he'd made with Elena. The ways that he'd hurt her and his family.

"I've made so many mistakes, how can you ever forgive me?"

Then something happened that made Damon pause and look up. His father was kneeling beside him. He'd never known him to ever do this before. His tears were enough to sober his thoughts as he stared in disbelief at the old man in front of him.

"Damon…I know this is hard for you to understand, but I have to forgive you, because I have to forgive me. It was my fault that you lost your mother, and I know it might never make sense to you, but I did it because I loved her. I loved her so much…and I still do."

And with that Damon let it go, reaching his hand out, he leaned forward and embraced his father for what felt like an eternity. Knowing that if it was him, given the chance, he would hope that his loved ones would always crawl back into his open arms.

* * *

 ** _2 weeks later…_**

After leaving his fathers office Damon had felt he had a new lease on life. The demons of his past no longer holding him down, but a sense of guilt and remorse still clung to his mind for one person in particular.

Elena.

She'd lost so much, and he couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. His actions towards her were awful, and he had no excuses. He'd spent the past two weeks trying to convince himself that he wasn't good enough for her, and that she would be better off without him, but he always seemed to lose the argument with himself.

He didn't know what to do or who he was, but one thing was certain, Alaric had been right about Klaus, and he knew why. Klaus had been the reason for his leaving New York to begin with. His infatuation with Katherine had been something that had separated them. Although at the time he'd blamed Klaus for her choices, he should have known Katherine had been more than willing. Silly lovesick boy that Damon was he'd never believed Katherine would willingly go after one of his best friends, so when he'd caught them in bed together, his anger towards Klaus had blinded him. It hadn't mattered to him that they'd been over for sometime, it had still been enough for him to leave. Katherine moving on with one of his friends was enough to make him realize she wasn't what he thought she was to begin with.

After he was free of her, he suddenly saw everything with clarity. Klaus was still hung up on Katherine. Was it possible that he'd seen Elena as a replacement?

His blood boiled just thinking of him making advances towards his girl.

Since the incident with Klaus and Elena had happened he'd cut all ties with him pretty much ignoring all contact and forcing the maggot to think for him-self. He wasn't going to be someone's charity case forever, and Klaus Michelson needed to grow up. He wouldn't be his problem anymore.

Besides he had bigger issues to tackle like winning Elena back and reconciling with the people in his life.

Damon didn't know what had gotten into him, but he knew for sure that after a week or two of sifting through his memories he'd come to the realization that he needed to fix his problems.

He wasn't this person anymore. He'd outgrown it, he'd chosen to become the man his mother would be proud of, and he had. So why had he compromised it all just for a chance to relive his old mistakes?

Walking around his apartment he made a call, and hoped with all his might that he would finally get an answer.

"This better be good." The voice replied in a clipped tone.

"I know this doesn't make any sense, but I need you to listen to me."

"Damon," Alaric said breathing into the phone, "I'm not up for any of your games. I've had to listen to Elena cry her eyes out for days. So whatever you have to say to me, I don't give a fu-" he said, beginning to tell Damon what for.

All Damon knew was he needed to apologize, but more importantly he needed to tell him, "I remember everything Rick." He said flatly, cutting him off the phone.

"Well…that changes things." He said in disbelief, hope lining his voice and Damon knew he would listen. Going out on a limb he asked,

"How is she?"

"She's just got her heart ripped out by the father of her baby. How do you think she's doing?" Alaric snapped.

"What do I do?" Damon asked, his voice lined with remorse.

"Damage control."

"How do I do that?"  
"Well Damon, I'm not sure but I believe it starts with you leaving New York and getting your butt back home before your brother steals your girl."

"What? What are you talking about?" Damon asked, fear lining his voice.

"I'm talking about Stefan moving in on Elena. When we got back from New York he was here, and hasn't left her side since."

"Son of a…" Damon said, cursing under his breath. That didn't take long.

"I know, but you storming back into her life isn't going to help her either."

"What?"

"She's not doing well Damon."

"What do you mean?"

"She's….she's thinking of giving up the baby…"

"No." Damon said, his worst fears being realized. She was going to give up their baby, but hell if he was going to let that happen.

"I'm on my way." He said simply as he hung up the phone. Elena was his. She might not want to be but she belonged to him, and he was ready to do everything in his power to win her back.

 ***********AUTHORS NOTE*******************

 **Damon has his memories back! I'm so glad to finally have him back and I know you all must be too. Now we'll just have to see what happens with him and Elena.**

 **Let me know what you thought about Damon's revelation, and his missing time.**

 **What are your feelings about Elena's choice to give the baby up for adoption?**

 **Let me know! Review please! :)**


	16. I Want You

" _Don't you ever say I just walked away. I will always want you. I can't live a lie running for my life I will always want you…" Wrecking Ball, Miley Cyrus_

 **Ch. 16**

Elena struggled for air as her lips found his again. It was passion, it was frenzy, it was every dream come true that she'd ever desired.

"Damon." She moaned, and the movement stopped.

Lifting her head, and opening her eyes she felt a sense of dread unfold within her stomach.

She'd been dreaming of Damon, of being with him, of kissing him.

Instead of her true hearts desire she was staring at none other than Stefan McGuire. His brown locks in a frizzy mess on the top of his head. His lips were inches away from hers, and she suddenly felt like screaming. This couldn't be happening…this wasn't happening.

"No…. no no no, Stefan? What are you doing here? How?..." her voice trailed off as she sat up, pushing him away farther down her bed spread. She was utterly confused about how he'd gotten into her room to begin with. Jeremy would have thrown him out at the very least if he had seen him.

"I can't help it I just miss you. I had to see you." Stefan breathed out as he reached and brushed a strand of loose hair from her face.

"Stefan, you can't…we can't." Elena said her voice filling with regret. How could she make him understand that she'd only kissed him because she thought he was his brother? How could she break the news to him without shattering him?

"Can't or won't?" he countered.

She hated this, his manipulation tactics were always driving her towards what he wanted, but she had learned to maneuver her way through them.

"I won't kiss you again. It was a mistake."

"Come on Elena. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you don't feel something for me?" he countered making her feel extremely uncomfortable.

"You should leave." She said simply cutting him off at the knees.

"You didn't seem to think it was a mistake a few moments ago."

He cooed, his face leaning towards hers again. She chose to ignore it and threw the duvet from her legs, standing she strode towards the door. Kicking him out seemed the best option.

"I don't think you understand. It wasn't you I wanted. Now get out of my house."

"Hmm well if you insist, but you know I'm just going to be lingering here tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. I won't leave Elena, not until you listen."

"Listen to what?"

"To the voice inside of you that still wants me."

"Stefan," she said, the hurtful words brimming inside her mind and suddenly they were overflowing from her mouth. "I don't want you anymore. The only man I want is in New York, and he's not making his way back to me anytime soon. I can't handle another man in my life. Especially not now." She said, a hand going to rest above the mound of her abdomen.

"So this is because of Damon?"

"No. Its not just because of Damon. Its about what's happened to you. You turned into a man that I barely recognize. We used to know each other Stefan.."

Standing up Stefan took a few steps towards Elena until he was standing in front of her. His hands lifted to cup the sides of her face, and she allowed it. Not because she wanted anything from him, but because that this point she'd lost all will to fight him off.

"We could again. Just try Elena. Let me love you again, let me take care of you."

He urged, the offer was slightly tempting, and would have been the perfect thing to say to get her to change her mind if she wasn't aware of the man he truly was.

"I need you to go. Leave."

She said again and moved to open the door.

Turning the knob she felt a presence behind the door that she hadn't been aware of before. A man stood standing in the shadows of her hallway, his black hair damp from the rain pelting her window outside. The hairs of her arms stood on end as she recognized the stranger in front of her.

"Damon?" she asked, hopes and despair lining her voice as he took a step towards her, allowing the light to hit his angular features.

"Elena, I know its late…I just…I had to tell you..." He said, his stare locked on hers. He hadn't realized the other figure in the room until he was halfway in, and then Elena was quite aware of the very awkward triangle that had just been formed in her bedroom. Whoever said three was company was fooling them-selves. It was most certainly a crowd.

Damon had spent the better part of the day planning it all out. The flight back to Virginia, the speech he would give Elena, and the kiss he'd anticipated far too much. He knew he didn't deserve it, hell he didn't deserve for her to even listen to him, but he had to try.

Even though rationally he knew this was bad.

Things had been bad before, but this was worse. His baby was about to be given away while his baby brother swooped in to steal what was left of his love life.

One thing was certain, over his dead body would he allow Stefan to have Elena if it was the last thing he did?.

Getting off the plane he'd practically sprinted to the luggage claim and hailed a taxi. He practically cursed himself for leaving Old Faithful in New York, but he'd find a way to get it shipped back eventually. Besides he had more pressing matters to worry about.

He'd then spent the taxi ride telling himself what a fool he'd been for letting Elena go. Even if he couldn't remember them, he knew it wasn't as easy as him saying, 'Hey I remember you now lets pick up where we left off.' There was just too much history, too much to sift through. He was about twenty minutes out when the sky opened up and it started to rain. Heavy raindrops came pelting down over the taxi as it drove him to his destination. He hadn't even thought about where he would go if she didn't invite him in. He'd practically assumed the entire thing would be like a fairy tale. She'd throw open her door and he'd tell her he was wrong and that he'd always loved her.

But this wasn't a fairy tale. So when he'd arrived he'd been pleased to find the front door unlocked. At first he thought it odd, but chose to ignore it. He wanted to surprise her, kiss her awake if he could. Every nerve inside of him wanted that, but when he'd reached her door he discovered he was too late. She was already awake and in a heated discussion with his brother.

The idea that Stefan was fighting for his ex-girlfriend was low enough, but did he have to move in on the mother of his child too? There were some things that were too low to fathom.

"Damon?" Stefan repeated again, it seemed he was in shock as well from the presence of his brother in the doorway. "What are you doing here, and why are you all wet?"

"Do you mind Stef? This is a private matter." Damon stated as he glared his brother down in front of his girl. Then his gaze shifted and his eyes locked with Elena, and he knew she knew.

He saw her eyes widen and her intake of breath and nodded.

Tears filled her eyes, and for a moment he forgot Stefan was standing awkwardly between them. There had been too much time spent apart between them, too much to reconcile but in that moment everything melted away, and all he felt was love.

Her love.

"Elena," he breathed out again, this time it was a pleading, not a demand. It was a request from a lover, in the most intimate way and he practically broke out in a beaming smile when she looked at Stefan one last time and told him to leave.

This time Stefan had no argument. He lifted his jacket from her window seat and left, all the while glaring at Damon and whispering to him, "Lets see who the better man is now brother."

Damon chose to ignore him. He really needed to get a clue, this girl wasn't into him at all, and by the looks of it she couldn't wait for him to leave. When he did finally go, the two people left in the room hadn't a clue because they only had eyes for each other.

Damon breathed in and so did Elena. Their gazes locked on one another. Damon guessed it was her way of trying to decide if she was safe with him, if he really was who she thought. Crossing her arms in front of her body he noticed her trying to find strength from within as she asked,

"What are you doing here?"

"I came back because I couldn't leave things the way I did. The way you left, what I told you…its not the way I want you to remember me."

She stiffened at that clearly remembering their last encounter. The air quickly filled with tension as they both remembered they were over.

"Ok, so how do you want things to be between us?"

"Well I think its only fair to tell you…" he said, getting ready to go into the whole history of his memory flooding back when he saw it.

It was a small token, a trinket, but it glittered and caught his eye. Around Elena's neck hung a new heart pendant. Normally she didn't wear jewelry, so his interest was suddenly peaked.

"Tell me what?" she asked, her hopes rising.

"Nice necklace. Who gave it to you?" he asked, accusation lining his voice.

"I…uh I actually got it from Stefan."

"So..I'm kicking him out of your bedroom, you're in your pajamas, and oh you're wearing his jewelry. Am I missing anything else? Are you stashing your engagement ring somewhere?" he said sardonically as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Damon come on its not like that. I just kicked him out what more do you want from me?" She said pulling her hair back and unclasping the necklace. She'd honestly forgotten that she'd fallen asleep with it on. Turning she set it down on top of her dresser, her back to Damon and said softly almost to herself,

"You know I'll always want you." she said. It was a whisper, it was a prayer, but it was all Damon needed to hear.

"I want everything Elena." he admitted.

Her heart stopped beating, along with her breathing as she felt him close the distance between them.

Maybe it was the distance, or perhaps it was because it had been a very long week but when his hands touched her sides, and she felt his breath on her neck, she melted against him. Being with him was as easy as breathing.

Rationally she knew she needed to ask him why he was here, and what they could possibly have, but she couldn't care. Not when he was against her like this.

It was gentle. It was soothing, and she was reminded of how he used to hold her this way, before the accident, before he couldn't remember.

Her heart hammered in her chest and as he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "I remember, Elena. I remember everything."

 ***********************AUTHORS NOTE*************************

 **YAY!**

 **Delena reunited in next chapter. I should be wrapping up this fanfic pretty quickly, but I wanted to thank all my wonderful readers for your support. You all have been super wonderful! I couldnt have done it without you.**

 **Review please! ;)**


	17. My Love

"When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I would offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love."

~Adele, To Make You Feel My Love

Ch. 17

His hands came to rest at her sides and he leaned into her inhaling her precious scent. He'd missed this...for so long he'd missed her. Feeling her relax against him he knew it was time.

"I remember Elena. I remember everything."

He heard her intake of breath as she processed what he'd said. His heart seemed to stop along with his breathing as he awaited her reaction.

Instinctively she turned around remaining in his arms as she spoke.

"What do you mean? Damon?" She asked as she looked into his icy blue orbs.

"Yes it's me Elena. I'm here...all of me."

She raised her hand up to his cheek and he sighed into her touch as her eyes looked beseechingly into his own.

"It is you." She said finally and he was able to breathe again.

"Oh Damon. My Damon. How I've missed you." She said as tears filled her eyes. "There's so much to say. So much to tell you."

She spoke fumbling over her words. He silenced her by bringing his lips over hers. It had been too long. There had been too much pain and if nothing else he needed this. This one kiss no matter what happened later. Elena responded instantly clinging to him as her body shook beneath his. Her lips were petal soft, and her warm embrace felt like coming home. God he loved her. The kiss swept through them, holding them together in a way that he'd feared they'd never be again. Tears pricked his eyes as he felt her respond to him, wanting him just as much as he wanted her, but he needed her to know how much. Pulling away he felt her tears kissing his cheeks as well and smoothed them away with his thumbs, his hands framing her face.

"No matter what happens I need you to know that I love you. That fact has never changed and never will." He explained as she choked back her silent sobs.

Damon needing to explain everything grabbed her hand. Awestruck she allowed him to lead her to sit on the window seat.

"When we met I was lost Elena. In so many ways I was searching for a fresh start but there were things I had left behind me. Until recently I didn't think you'd have to know about them. But then the accident happened and lets just say it made me take a long look at myself. I'm sorry Elena. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from that."

"Damon. I'm not looking for an apology. I know the man I fell in love with. I just..." She said tapering off and taking his hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. "I hope you can trust me enough to tell me the truth. What happened with your father Damon?"

Damon exhaled, letting the tension leave his shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"I don't want to lie to you Elena. The parts of me you saw, was really who I was. In a lot of ways I didn't get attached, and Katherine had just broken my heart. I had lost everyone in my heart that mattered. Stefan had tried in his own ways to reach me, but I think he took things out in his own rage. He distanced himself from you, and although it wasn't your fault he felt unworthy. I think he still regrets that. But for me, I just couldn't get past my mother's death. I guess after I discovered my father had a hand in it I wanted to blame him and I did in a very unhealthy way. After you left I went to see him."

"Damon you didn't..." Elena said withdrawing and putting her hand over her mouth. Damon looked out the window, unable to face her fully.

"I didn't, but I'd be lying if I told you I went with honorable intentions."

"What happened?" She said leaning back and crossing her arms over her body.

"I remembered. He helped me to remember, the truth. That this was truly what my mother had wanted. He had never meant it to be vindictive. He did it because he loved her."

"Oh Damon..."

"I couldn't let go...I didn't want to.I guess the universe had different plans." He said softly as a single tear escaped from his right eye. Elena reached out her hand and swept it away gently with her nimble fingers.

"Hey look at me," she said her finder turning his face towards hers as she continued, " the universe doesn't control anything. It's not real. You know how I know?" She asked him as he grunted a "Hm?"

"You and I we're messy and complicated but we're real." She said as she approached him, scooting closer on the bench window seat. Without warning Elena was suddenly enveloped in his arms as Damon pulled her close to him.

"I don't ever want to let you go Elena."

"I don't want you to either." She said simply, "There's nothing I wouldn't do, to show you how much I love you. How much we love you." She said tearfully as the baby inside of her kicked.

Damon smiled and pulled away looking down at the joy they would soon share. That they would not only be lovers, but a family. Something whole. Something he'd never dared hope he'd find.

It was then he decided to do something irrational and unexpected, but something he felt had been a long time coming.

Kneeling on the ground before her on one knee Damon looked up into Elena's beautiful hazelnut brown eyes, and said, "Elena I know we've been through everything together. Especially these last few months but there is absolutely no one else on earth who knows me as well as you do. Will you marry me?"

* * *

"Will you marry me, Elena?" They were the words she'd always hoped to hear. The words she'd dreamed he'd always ask her that for a moment she thought she was dreaming.

"What did you say?"

"I want you to marry me. I want to be your husband Elena. The father of your kids. I want to grow old with you. What do you say?"

The answer yes slipped from her mouth and in an instant it was covered with his. A promise of forever. A new beginning in spite of the tragedies that they had both faced. Both of them couldn't be happier or more in love.

6 months later...

"Its time Damon." Elena breathed as he abdoment contracted once more. The spasms had been coming every five minutes, and she was sure it wasn't fake this time. She knew her husband was tired, and she'd worn him out with her Braxton Hicks contractions but she was sure this time. This little boy was coming and nothing was stopping him this time.

"Ok lets go. I'll get the bags and the car started." He said rolling out of bed and pulling on his pants. As he made his way down the stairs Elena threw on a jacket and some shoes. Fumbling down the stairs she grabbed her phone on the way out and they were off. Speeding through traffic. Leaning forward Elena could feel an intense pressure and suddenly a wetness down her legs.

"Damon...!" She breathed.

"What?" He asked weaving in and out of traffic.

"My water broke."  
His look said it all. He finally knew this was the real thing and anxiety and fear lined his featured.

* * *

In a moment they were in the hospital and in delivery. An hour later she was pushing while Damon caressed her face.

"You got this baby, your doing so good."

"UUUGHHH!" She said as she pushed one final time, and heard her son's cries for the first time.

"Congratulations Mommy, it's a boy!" Said Dr. Fell beaming from her outstretched legs, as she handed her her son.

He was crying and the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Elena looked up at Damon to see a look of amazement on his face. He was a father and she was a mother.

"So what will we call him? Baby Salvatore for now?"

"No. We know his name." Elena said, tears lining her eyes. "Grayson. Grayson Salvatore." She said as she kissed his forehead.

She felt blessed for his love. Overwhelmed by the love this new being gave her. Looking up she gazed at her blue eyed man, her husband, partner and friend, and knew this was where she was meant to be. Never had she been happier to have acted upon those forbidden desires for she was sure she would never have known her untold story. Her untold desires.

THE END.

AN:

 ** _A big thank you to all my dedicated readers. I know this was a very short fanfic, but there are many more stories that I would like to write, and I needed to feel that this one was completed before moving forward with a new story. Thank you so much for reading the Desires series! Love you all! ~iHeart1202_**


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